Introvert adapted to an Extroverted World

Trouble’s a Brewing

2010-10-02T11:47:00.004-04:00

So, why has it been so long since I’ve written this time? Well, life gets complicated sometimes. You know the adage, “When it rains it pours”? That’s what I’ve been seeing a lot of lately, pouring rain. Our family seems to be especially hard hit over the last six months with more than its fair share of tragedy. I guess I could just run down the list of bad events in chronological order, hmm. Oh, I don’t know, where’s the fun in that, right?

Perhaps a more effective way (it would be a long list) would be just to give a general gist of things and then maybe talk about stuff in future blogs. Let’s see…we have unemployment, illness, death, major surgery, addiction/relapse (no, not me) just to get the list started. Our entire family has been hit pretty hard with one thing or another. Don’t get me wrong there has also been some beautiful moments; the glimmer of hope…weddings, grandchildren (both here and expecting), but overall things have been very difficult. I basically find that Hee Haw song “Gloom Despair and Agony On Me” befitting life at this moment. So, all in all this life stuff has been very time consuming. It’s been pretty hard to find even a few minutes to myself where I am able to write. Then, if I do have a moment, well, the idea of writing honestly just seems burdensome because all I want to do is take a breath.

So, officially, (exhale) I’m going to try and discuss everything but I certainly can’t promise that there will be regular posts. I’ll do what I can when I can. I will ask this of my readers, if anyone out there can spare some positive energy, prayers, or thoughts they would certainly be accepted and welcome. From here I’ll post details when I can but suffice to say health issues are topping the list right now. My grandson, Mason, is top priority. He’s eight months old and will soon be facing and extremely delicate, major surgery on his head that will involve the removal of his entire skull cap. I’ll talk about the condition in my next entry, in the meantime, people…seriously need those prayers.

Thanks.

Reawakening

2010-07-04T11:03:00.006-04:00

I’ve been trying to convince myself lately that my lack of writing has occurred because my life has been so busy and hectic. I think that I’ve been making excuses, though. While I have been extremely busy with kids, grandkids, puppies and kittens, not to mention everyday life stuff; the fact of the matter is that I just haven’t had the motivation to write.

I was told that a writer needs to write something “everyday” no matter what. I believe this rule of advice has been more trouble to me than help. You see, I’m not the type of person who reacts well to orders, and that’s kind of what this feels like to me. It makes me think that if I don’t write “everyday” like a good writer does, then I must not really be a “true” writer. Somehow, I’m deficient, less than the other “good” writers. There must be something in me that is unworthy of writing if I don’t do it everyday. Yes, I get that not all writers “feel” like writing everyday; but it goes beyond that.

I become resentful if I have to push myself to write. It becomes work when I have to do something I don’t feel like doing, and while writing may be my job it shouldn’t have to be “work”. Isn’t that what the saying, “If you do something you love then you never have to work a day in your life” mean? So, if writing is something I love to do, then it shouldn’t be work, correct? Unfortunately, though, when I force myself to write it becomes just that. Then, to make it even worse, if I miss a day the guilt begins to build. I don’t handle guilt well; I think this is why I try so hard to avoid guilt. The guilt of not writing builds up so strongly, and so quickly that it soon overwhelms me and I just give up altogether. Yes, I become a quitter.

Now, here I am months later and I haven’t written so much as a single word. In the back of my mind I keep hearing this nagging voice, “You should be writing everyday” and I try very hard to ignore it. Finally, this morning I worked past the guilt and decided, screw this….I feel like writing so I’m going to write. And so it is. I believe I’ve made up my mind to completely ignore the rule/advice of “a writer needs to write something everyday”. I think that from now on I’ll write whenever I damn well feel like it and screw the rest of the time. I can’t take the pressure of working like that; it’s not in my nature. I write because I love to write, not because it’s my job. If the day again arrives that this becomes work instead of pleasure I’ll probably stop writing again until I get over it. Until then, I’m going to write when I feel like writing and I’m going to spend time with my partner, kids, grandkids, the puppies and kittens, my garden, and my home in the meantime. I’m going to enjoy this life that I have been given and not work it into the ground. This is my new philosophy…I’m giving up on writing as my job and putting it back where it belongs…in the category of enjoyable things. Thus endeth the lesson.

The Recovery

2009-09-12T10:28:00.008-04:00

So, after yesterday’s post and the tragic ending of a beautiful life I feel that it’s necessary to try and balance that negative with a positive. In this day and age we have all been witness to the trails and tribulations of our modern world. We have watched innocents be slain in genocides, mass murders, and murder suicides. We have all watched as the moral decay in our society has grown disproportionately to the moral well being of humanity. The earth itself is in pain over the way we human beings have treated ourselves. The question is, why? Why do we allow ourselves to suffer so? Why have we broken our bodies and minds to the point of anxiety, suffering, loneliness, and shame that we have? We have all seen it. We all know it’s out there. Everyday we question ourselves as to, “How can someone do something like that?” or “How has humanity gotten to the point of such cruelty?” We long for heroes and to hear word of good doings. We look to the sky with hope that things will get better, and there my friend is the key. The fact that hope is still present and alive in the human animal is what allows us the opportunity to change the world one person at a time, starting with our self.

We have all heard the call down deep inside us. The desire to be the best we can be. We long to fulfill our potential, so why not start today? There’s a book out there that’s been around for a while now. You may already be one of the ragpickers who have read it, maybe you haven’t, yet. I first read the book a little over 16 years ago and it helped change my life for the better. You see 17 years ago I was one of those people drowning myself in booze and drugs, looking for a way out of the thing I feared most, humanity. It’s easy to see the world in all its awfulness and then justify to yourself why you don’t want to be a part of society. The fact of the matter, though, is that it’s nothing more than fear. Fear that you may actually live up to your potential and then be responsible for not only your life, but the lives of those you touch. It becomes easy to say that you don’t matter and that no one will notice if you’re not a part of the game, but we all know that’s a cop out. We all have that gut feeling that tells us we do matter, we want to matter. The time has come to face the fear people. The book is called “The Greatest Miracle in the World” it is written by Og Mandino and it does carry the secret to peace of mind and happiness, seriously.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a religious person. I am without doubt spiritual, I always have been. I don’t believe that you have to be either Christian or religious in any manner to read this book and arrive at the benefits from it. While the book may seem to have a religious context to it, the message is actually much deeper than any religion ever has been. The story is an instruction manual, seriously, on how to alter your subconscious thought and create a positive mind that automatically sets your soul to heal itself and the souls of others. It trains your mind to become an instrument of hope. I strongly suggest that every person read it and sincerely follow through with the 100 days. It will change your life. I read the book again last night, after 16 years and I can see how it changed mine. Funny thing as I began to read the memorandum again, tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them; something inside me knew that I have been witness to the greatest miracle in the world. Honestly.

http://www.amazon.com/Greatest-Miracle-World-Og-Mandino/dp/0553259148/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252764921&sr=1-2

“Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio.”

2009-09-11T10:19:00.001-04:00

But do you ever really know someone? A very macabre topic today as I talk about the death of one of R’s co-workers. Seemingly a man that had it all together; a hard worker, nice guy, well liked, family man, had been at the company for many years, and then…

Last night I get a call from R who tells me they had just learned that this man had shot himself in the head and had died. Probably the most horrific thing about this is that he did it in front of his two children (R believes they are both in their teens). I can’t begin to imagine the horror of witnessing such an act and while my heart, and the hearts of all who knew the family, goes out to them; I can hardly think that any consolation is even the slightest bit comforting.

As near as people can figure he was under financial and marital strain but, of course, no one expected or saw any signs of this coming. I guess when something like this happens it’s never really expected, huh? I mean if it were then there would be a chance that the person could get help and maybe the end result would be a happier ending with the person surviving. It’s a very sad thing indeed but I also feel some anger here.

Not only did this man leave his children with a memory that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, he also left them with no means of financial help. He had paid into his life insurance and pension for all those years and now, his children are left without anything because of the suicide. I realize that this man must have been in immense pain to do what he did, but it was a selfish act indeed. It makes me think of others who have taken their own lives and/or the lives of others, and what it boils down to is selfishness. Sorry if I sound crass here but what right do these people have to destroy the lives of those they leave behind. I mean, it’s bad enough that they have taken their light, or someone else’s light from the world but it’s just down right selfish that they have also drawn the light from the people left behind who loved them.

I’ve suffered loss in my life, both of my parents passed on before I was an adult. Theirs’ was a natural death and that hurt plenty, I can assure you. But to witness the taking of a life of someone as close and dear to you as a parent…leaves me in the dark. It’s impossible to make any sense out of a senseless act and yet we try. The best I can come up with is selfishness. The person, this man, didn’t want to deal with his difficult life anymore so he opted out leaving his children to bear the burden alone and then adding to their pain on top of it. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m sorry for the topic of this post but I needed to vent. Send thoughts, prayers, healing energy to the family, sure. What else is there to do?

Just Another One of Those Poem Things in the Works

2009-07-27T20:29:00.003-04:00

Making a Meaning

Can anyone make sense of life, real sense?
Who can call the cards before they fall?
Who can sing the song of the prophetess?
Life is splayed before our eyes and
even then
the sense has left us.

There is no waiting in the wings for the
Bird of Paradise has gone the way of the Phoenix.
The electric sensation of the heartbeat filled kiss
prolonged and left for wanting
in the memory of
beings.

Singing in the soul the creation of beauty
the lifeforce of the fermata
which slips into silence and
exhilarates the blood in the living creature;
we who crawl into the
world of forgotten midst and
burst into fury.

There is no collar for the savage
creator of our own mind.
The deck cannot be stacked or
counted on for anything but
the toss of the dice and the lady
whose luck is not her own.

Beyond the door of the setting sun
the fire ignites the path of recollection
and foresight.
But who is it that can gaze on the
corona and still contemplate the fate
before them?

Over the Edge

2009-07-21T15:25:00.004-04:00

I know it must seem like I had fallen off the edge of the earth or something. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve posted. Frankly, though, those who know me should expect this from time to time. I, like many other people, find obstacles to put in the way of daily writing. Oh…and did I mention that I fell off the edge of the earth. *kidding*

What can I say? I just haven’t written for the blog. No real excuse, just haven’t been doing it. I have been writing, but I’ve also been doing other things as well. Still playing the RPGs, sewing, and gardening, taking care of family, dealing with health issues of my own, and basically living that thing we call life. I suppose that nagging feeling finally got to me and I could no longer resist the urge to put something on the blog. I don’t really have a topic today but I thought…Does everyone know that there is a total solar eclipse happening today? It’s true, across India and Asia the sun will go dark for what will be the longest solar eclipse of this century. It will last for a whole 6.7 minutes and apparently cause millions of superstitious folk to do many a bizarre thing.

Honestly, from what I understand there are many people in India who believe that the eclipse is such an evil omen that they will go to extreme ends to prevent their child from being born on the day of an eclipse. Others, will bath in sacred waters and some will use the day to create chaos and cause bloodshed. What will you do today? Oh…well there’s going to be a total solar eclipse so I thought I would go out and massacre a few hundred folk. What about you? Very unsettling.

I wonder how it is that the superstition over shadows the science? Really, I have to say that I feel it. It’s like a churning in the gut, the possibility of something more being out there. Even though we know what causes the eclipse maybe there’s still something mystical, or spiritual that happens to human beings during the time of the eclipse. Perhaps something is triggered in the world archetype when all minds are focused on the same event, maybe we are providing it with the power we feel. Could it be that our Gods have the power they have because we will it into being? Just asking. Energy is energy, right? If we focus the spark on kindling we create fire. Basically we’ve exchanged one form of energy for another. Mystic happenings…maybe our focus causes the energy to take on a new form. Just sayin’.

I Am the Virginal Sacrifice

2009-03-15T11:45:00.002-04:00

It’s true; I was sacrificed as a virgin last night. But, I’ll tell you more about that in a minute. First, I’d just like to point out that I haven’t made my new posts on a regular basis, sorry. Shit happens, man. What can I say? It’s strange, though, the number of hits have remained pretty constant. Ok, ok…back to the virginal sacrifice.

There I was lying on a porcelain slab which was in the shape of a crescent moon. I was held down by some mystical force, completely prone, totally defenseless. The four of them held a huge five foot long sword and together they chanted over my body. Each of them, in turn, cut their own hand and let the blood run over me. They continued their chant in a language that seemed to be some sort of basterdized Latin. I vaguely recalled some of the large black symbols that were scrawled around me. I had seen four large symbols on the floor when they brought me in. Each of the four were standing on one of the four symbols that surrounded the alter. I knew, from previous run ins with them, that they were of the Cult of Lilith. This was not boding well for me.

As the chanting continued my anxiety rose. I knew this was going to be the end of me. I watched, helpless, as the sword was raised above my body by the tall, good-looking one who had given me this life. He smiled at me while a small bit of his blazing red hair fell free from the ponytail, as he plunged the sword into my stomach, right through my belly button and beyond me into and through the alter. There was no blood. There was a tremendous rush of pain which seared into my being. I was unable, even, to scream. The chanting grew louder, and my thoughts and feelings swirled around as if they were becoming one.

I began to feel warm, something that I hadn’t experienced for the last several months. I could feel my body pulsating as a horrifying scream penetrated my ears and ruptured any last strength I had. As I lay there slowly slipping into torpor, he leaned over my face, smiled, and kissed my forehead. He pulled the sword from my stomach, it was different somehow. It no longer resembled the cold steel metal that had been driven through me, now, it had an ichor black glow to it. Still unable to react, I saw them stand, turn and leave. The building around me was on fire, there were pieces of burning ceiling falling to the floor on the other side of the room. I laid there.

Finally, when I thought my end was coming, Harper lifted me from the alter threw me over her shoulder and ran. When we reached Lady Imogen’s house I was placed on a cold tile floor, held down by Harper, Jake, and PD. Lady Imogen slit her wrist, the blood leached down my throat and I began to move, to struggle, to come out of my torpor. I wanted more, and I tried to grab her arm to keep the coppery liquid flowing into my mouth, but I was held fast. She drew away and I was back, able to move again; but I needed to feed.

To say the least, the night was eventful. There were many, many things happening all around that night. The Prince of the city has formally declared war. Things are so bad right now, that the werewolves are helping us. Yeah, can you say “bad things are happening”? Icky ichor and Banes are showing up all over the place. There is something draining the spirit life from the Umbra, leaving the world cold and dead. I don’t know what my role in all of this is yet, but I know I’m an essential piece of the puzzle. And I wonder, as I look through the unhealing hole in my stomach, and study the bloodless white dress; why me? My sire said he chose me because I was a virgin, I’m his preferred feed, but is that why I was sacrificed? What about the others who were made with me that night? We were all deliberately chosen by our sires, what does that mean? Has the Cult of Lilith completed its task? Maybe, or maybe, their turns are yet to come.

So, I’m hoping that by now you’ve deduced that this story was my latest Vampire update. It’s was an awesome game last night and I look forward to its continued awesomness. Things are really heating up. Yeah!

BTW – Do you know how hard it is to find a decent picture of a classical virgin sacrifice?

Fairytales

2009-03-07T10:51:00.010-05:00

Once upon a forever ago there was a blog writer who tried to write her entries with some degree of regularity. Unfortunately, her life took hold and things got into the way and prevented her from writing. That in itself wasn’t too bad, but after a while she lost interest and turned her thoughts elsewhere. She found it difficult to focus her attention on a blog that she felt just wasn’t doing all that well anyway. So, in her mind she justified not writing in it for a long time.

Then one day, after checking her blog count she realized that she had a large count. In other words, people were reading it. She continued to track her blog hits and found, ironically, that she was receiving more hits since she had stopped writing than when she was pursuing it regularly. While this was perplexing to her, she found it very interesting as well and thought she would try an experiment.

She wrote a new post and put it up on her blog, and then she waited. She decided she would track the number of hits the new post received to see if the interest would continue. So, with an anxious mood, she waited, and waited. But, since it had only been a few minutes since her post, she was unable to retrieve any useful information. She called it a day and figured she would check tomorrow.

In the meantime she planned her children’s D&D game for the evening. They’ve come pretty far and have realized that the old mansion they are in is not haunted after all. It was, in fact, being used by smugglers who attempted to keep people at bay by making the place appear to be haunted. And yes, while she did have to semi lead them in that direction, given their ages of 9, 10, 11, and 13 they did a remarkable job on their own. Tonight, they have the clean up work. They need to finish going through the mansion so that they can collect all their bootie. They have killed all the smugglers but there is still a room full of skeletons for them to take care of, unbeknownst to them of course.

In the end, the writer closed her new blog entry with the promise of letting people know how the whole tracking experiment went and how the D&D turns out. And perhaps, just perhaps, the writer will once again make a serious attempt to post on a regular basis.

The End

I Think

2009-02-07T10:03:00.002-05:00

I think I’ve been feeling a bit guilty for not writing on the blog lately, although, it’s a two way road. Honestly, I really just haven’t felt like blogging. I’ve been spending a lot of time working on my book but even that probably hasn’t been what’s robbing me of my motivation. Facebook has been taking up a good deal of time lately. I find myself spending a good two hours on it when I log on, either talking to friends or just catching up on all of the game stuff that is sent to me. I don’t really need to be on there, but it has been nice visiting with my friends. I suppose I’m allowing it to be a distraction, or an excuse for not writing. When it comes down to it, though, I think the real reason is that I don’t really feel like I have anything that important to say. I find that I’ve thought about writing on several occasions, but I’m having trouble coming up with a topic. I guess I figure if I don’t have anything to say, then why say anything? That said, this entry is strictly written to relieve that guilt feeling I have growing in the back of my mind.

I don’t like the idea of neglecting the blog for several different reasons. One, I don’t want people who may be following the blog to think that I’ve abandoned it. Two, when I don’t put forth an entry I feel like I’m slacking on a project that I have undertaken. Three, I feel guilt because when I don’t write, I also neglect reading other people’s blogs. That makes me feel like I’m letting those people down.

While I have a strong desire to create an entry each day, that obviously will not happen. I do try to post on a fairly regular basis, though, but even that suffers at times. So, the long and short of it is this. I suppose I’ll post when I feel like I have something worth posting, otherwise I won’t. I will, and I do, try to come up with topics that I feel are worth the post because I would like to keep them coming on at least a semi-regular basis. I guess we’ll have to see what happens.

One last thing…just in case you haven’t heard. President Obama will be coming to Elkhart this Monday, the 9th. From what I understand, since Elkhart now holds the honorable position of the highest unemployment rate in the nation, the president will be drawing attention to the need to rebuild America’s industries. I think this should be interesting and just thought that some of you may like to know that.

So, there you have it, my guilt entry. Maybe the mere act of writing an entry will spur me on to further entries. I guess we’ll have to see. TTFN

I’m in a Stupor

2009-01-27T16:42:00.004-05:00

Really, I want to do some serious writing, but I’m having some trouble here. While I’d like to do this Blog entry, I would actually prefer to be working on my novel. The problem with that, though, is there’s too much activity going on right now to be able to bring my thoughts together. So…frustration ensues.

My brain is spending a little bit of time here and a little bit of time there, but I can’t seem to bring enough of it together to even get an entry out of it. Honestly, it’s taken over an hour just to get this far.

I have 19 year old daughter in crisis mode, 9 year old son in birthday day mode, birthday cake bake mode, chicken and noodles super mode, writing mode, cats on the table mode and the world has gone and left my brain to cope. That’s a dangerous thing to do.

So, today’s entry is just this. Here’s hoping tomorrow I can get things together. Peace.

Where to Now?

2009-01-16T11:54:00.005-05:00

Time for a new poem. I felt the need to create today and so, here is the first draft. Where it goes from here is anyone’s guess. Don’t mind the picture (45grave); it doesn’t really go with the poem. I just felt like being a bit obscure.

Far Away

Far away the world falls
into a blackend oath after
scaling the nerve of
scratching nails down the chalkboard

Watching letters of no one fly
past the window of opportunity
into a dark night of
anxiety and pleasure

Shock absorber walls keep out
undesirable thoughts
and deeds
Inside a trapped innocence
battered, broken, bleeding

The lives of many hold
the few torn remnants of a
wishing world turned inside out
Ready to take on the
Master

Far away she sings in the garden
looking out into humanity
feeling, pleading, loving,
vigilant.

Caressing the moment of respite
that has become her anchor
of redemption
creating a new life within
the tattered womb of isolation

The beginning moments of a
charitable love fall backwards
through the last sentiments of
a long ago day where time stands
still then erupts into echo

Far away they leave
forgetting that they once lived
sheltered in the garden where
the echoes of birth have faded

Israel and Gaza Continued....Humanity

2009-01-09T14:24:00.016-05:00

Here we stand on the edge of one more humanitarian crisis in the world today. Where does end? Will it ever? Of course these are unanswerable questions at this time and place in history. One thing we do know is that humanitarian crises have occurred time and again throughout history, and still, they continue. It is up to humanity as a united front to put a stop to it. Does that mean, intervening in political battles, or jailing those we deem to be guilty? Some people may feel that it’s a necessary action due to the lack of other options at this time. Possibly. I think it’s going to take a huge overhaul in the mentality of the human animal before a true humanitarian concern becomes the status quo. Educating people to the plights of those suffering may help. If a person is first unaware of another’s suffering, or misinformed as to why they are suffering; it stands to reason that they’re not going to be concerned. But, I think humanitarianism goes far beyond that. I think there is a crucial state of being that needs to be present within the human psyche. A humanitarian, to me, is a type of person just as an artist is an artist, or an engineer an engineer. These are traits, characteristics…skills…that a person learns and develops through intentional practice. Humanitarianism requires that a person be able to consciously act against their own interest in a situation, when it will provide a means or way for another being to live a better, less sufferable life. Sometimes this can be a difficult road, especially if that person lacks adequate training. You wouldn’t expect a weather person to perform brain surgery. Why expect someone who has never been given humanitarian training to act humanely? I’m just sayin’. While some of you may believe that most people carry a compassionate trait in them; I’m saying humanitarianism goes beyond. Want to learn? Start by practicing patience…next time you go to the store intentionally pick the longest line and then, wait. Can you do it without feeling anxious or annoyed? If so, then you may be on your way. If not, keep at it until you can. K, today’s post isn’t about lessons in humanitarianism. It’s about the crisis in Palestine. Remember, the whole educating people who may be unaware or misinformed thing mentioned earlier? Well, that’s what this is about today. Maybe some future posts will have more exercises in humanitarian training…be patient ;-)

The occupied territories, Gaza and the West Bank have effectively been under siege since Britain left the lands in 1947. We’ve had the history, so you know that’s when Israel claimed the land after several Arab nations declared war on Israel and Israel was victorious. Since that time many Palestinian families have been displaced. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 600,000 Palestinian families were uprooted from their homes at that time, in what was now Israeli land, and relocated to refugee camps in areas that included Gaza and the West Bank. The remaining refugee areas were eventually handed back to the Arab nations, but Gaza and the West Bank remained under Israeli authority. There has now been two generations of Palestinians who have known no other life, than existence in a refugee camp, overseen by Israel. These are people who, for the last 60 plus years, have not been allowed to leave the sealed off West Bank and Gaza strip, without Israeli permission. Think Russia, during the cold war. It takes a great deal of money, power, and manipulation to obtain a pass out of these areas. That means, they are not free to visit America, or Syria, or even their remaining family members who live outside of the West Bank, or Gaza Strip without special papers and permission from Israel. In other words, they are captives whose basic freedoms are denied on an enormous scale. But, this is just the beginning.

How would you feel if you had to ask permission to cross the street so you could go to the store and buy food for your family? How would you react to being told that you were not allowed to send your children to school on some given day or days? How about not being allowed to work? Would any of these situations upset you? Answer honestly, and we all know that of course they would. We wouldn’t stand for it. But, these are the conditions Palestinians have been living in for the last 60 years. And who’s blinking an eye?

Of course, this too is only the beginning. Besides being denied access on a regular basis to places of daily life, let alone travel out of the country, many times food, fuel, and medical supplies are stopped from coming in. Hmmm…let’s see…this is not a starving Ethiopian suffering from conditions beyond his control. This is a Palestinian child suffering due to the impossible living conditions placed on him by an occupying state.

Again I ask, what if this was your life? What if this was your child? What if you knew your child was starving to death because of the restrictions placed on you by the governmental authority ruling over your state?

Alright, let’s talk about what it’s like to see that governmental authority in your presence everyday. You consider yourself fortunate because you have been given papers that allow you to hold a job, many you know are not. You leave at 5 AM walking your half an hour walk to your job. On the way you must pass through 2 check points guarded by soldiers. At the first check point you present your papers, then your body is searched, a stranger’s hands rub up and down your arms and legs, your torso is patted down, then you are told to sit and wait. You stay at that check point waiting for over an hour with no explanation as to why you have been detained. Finally, you are allowed to pass. When you get to the second check point you find out that it has been shut down. There is no access in or out until further notice. This may be a matter of minutes, hours, possibly even days. You sit and wait. It’s now 9 AM; you were supposed to be to work by 5:30. The check point opens, after standing in line you present your papers, are patted down and allowed through after watching many others be denied for no apparent reason. By, 10:00 you make it to work. You head back home at 4 PM, going back through the check points, knowing you could be detained for any period of time. You are at the soldiers’ mercy.

When you arrive home you are excited at the news that your wife was able to buy flour today. There was no produce allowed into the market but you have meat and bread. Your son and daughter work on their homework. At 7PM you hear the announcement over the area’s loud speaker, a curfew has been put into place until further notice. You hear gunfire at the end of the street, screaming, after a bit it gets quite. You stay in your home being sure to avoid the windows. In the morning you don’t bother getting up for work the curfew is still in effect. You understand that a curfew here means anyone caught outside their home after a curfew has been established will be shot. Your children’s homework goes ungraded and you hope the flour your wife bought will be enough to get your family through until the curfew is lifted. Over the next 2 days you listen to the sounds of sporadic gun fire and feel the rumbling tanks making their way down your street past your front door. You think how nice it would be to have some more meat to go with the small bit of bread that’s left. Finally, after 3 days the curfew is lifted and you are allowed to begin your day’s journey back to work. When you get home that night you discover that on their way to school your children came under gunfire and had to take cover in a blown out building. The group they travel with came out ok, this time. – If you think this scenario is embellished in any way, you’re wrong. This is what it is like to live in the West Bank and Gaza under Israeli occupation. Could you / would you live like this?

The latest outbreak of violence in Israel and Gaza is just one more incident of hatred and fear building up to an explosive point. Living under inhumane conditions would drive all of us to desperate measures. What if this was your child?

Understand that Israel claims this treatment is necessary to protect their people. That they have been the victims of bombardments and suicide bombs there is no doubt. Israel is certainly threatened by many of the surrounding Arab countries, and weaponry is in no small supply where terrorists are concerned. But let’s face it after 60 plus years of living the way the Palestinians have been forced to live is it any wonder things are getting worse instead of better. What is taking place, and has been taking place, is ethnic cleansing plain and simple. Most Palestinians only want to live a normal life, where they can go to work, earn a living, and provide an education for their children. A humanitarian crisis has developed over the years to a point beyond reproach. The world (WE) must stand up and demand the end to this. No person…no human being…should ever be subjected to conditions such as this. You know it, I know it. You wouldn’t stand for it if it were you. Are you willing to stand for it because it’s not?

Israel and Gaza at War....Politics

2009-01-04T10:52:00.009-05:00

The Political Perspective

I plan on presenting both sides of the political battle here as best as I can. Please keep in mind that Israel has a more open media policy than does Hamas. In fact, the information regarding the Hamas perspective, their goals, and their ideology has mostly come from US sources such as; the FAS (Federation of American Scientists) and the CRS (Congressional Research Service), and the Washington Institute. Now, while I would like to think these are reliable sources, it does need to be noted to anyone reading this that this is where the information has come from. I also read the news from the Al Jazeera web site, that’s about as close as I can get to any actual Palestinian political input. The following pictures of the Israeli government and Hamas are presented in a manner that, without doubt, influences the senses into one of civility VS terror, but keep in mind, too, that access to Hamas photos is also very limited. My past experience in activism and input from friends has also influenced my perspective, so please keep all of this in mind. Thank you.

Israel:

Israel was given a large majority of Palestinian land between the 1920s and the 1950s by the UN. By 1967, due to wars/attacks instigated both by Israel and Arab nations Israel came to occupy the West Bank and the Gaza strip, originally dedicated to Palestine in 1947. It’s easy for Israel to look at the West Bank and Gaza as a benefit of war. When one country wins a war it’s only natural for that country to occupy the land in which it has claimed. This outlook has been around since the dawn of time. So, in the eyes of Israel, they fought and died for their right to exist not only in Israel proper but also in the occupied territories. In their agreement to give the West Bank and Gaza back over to the Palestinians they feel they have made a great compromise. Israelites will be displaced, some who have lived in the occupied territories for a long time, and new accommodations within Israel proper will need to be made for them. The main thing that Israel is asking for is that the Arab nations recognize their right to exist as a nation, and allow them to live in peace and safety.

Israel states that in 2005 they withdrew from the occupied territories, allowing for the self-government of the Palestinian people. After the Palestinian elections in 2006 the West Bank fell under the jurisdiction of Fatah (formerly the PLO), while Gaza fell under the authority of Hamas. Fatah has been recognized as a legitimate governing body by both Israel and the UN. Hamas, on the other hand, is only recognized by the Arab states; in the eyes of Israel and the US Hamas is a terrorist group. This has brought on two different forms of negotiation between Israel and the West Bank, and Israel and Gaza. While fighting has lessened in the West Bank an onslaught of attacks has continued between Israel and the Gaza strip. The latest outbreak that we are now witnessing has occurred because Hamas claims Israel broke the latest peace treaty by denying the entry of essential food and medical supplies into the Gaza strip, and so began unleashing rockets in retaliation. Israel claims that the accusations from Hamas are untrue and that they have been under sporadic rocket attack all year. The Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs (IMFA) claims that 1,212 rockets and 1,290 mortar bombs fired from the Gaza Strip have struck southern Israel since the beginning of the year (Jan-Nov 2008). They believe Hamas has broken the truce and they feel it is their duty to defend the Israeli people. Israel does not recognize Hamas as a legitimate government; they see them solely as terrorists and will not concede to a Palestinian terrorist state. Israel claims that they are deeply concerned for the humanitarian condition of the Palestinian peoples within the Gaza strip, but they believe their ultimate safety and well being falls to the responsibility of Hamas. Israel is basically saying, enough is enough, lets end this now. They are tired of dealing with hostile people who they believe will not stop until Israel is conquered, and so, they must defend themselves until a sure victory is had.

Hamas:

Came into being in 1967 as a wing of the Muslim Brotherhood, They grew into Hamas during the first intifada in the 80s. Their agenda is based strongly on Islamic Fundamentalism and their popularity within the Gaza strip has grown over the years. In the 2006 elections Hamas was voted into power and recognized as the ruling authority in Gaza by the Palestinian people. Fatah was elected by the peoples of the West Bank as their governing authority. The ideologies of Hamas and Fatah are deeply at odds when it comes to the recognition of Israel. Fatah is willing to recognize Israel as a state and negotiate with Israel. Hamas on the other hand takes the position that Israel never had a right to their land, that it was given to Israel under false pretence and that they hold no rights to it. They are calling for the complete withdraw of Israel from Palestine proper according to the Pre-1947 boundaries. It is widely believed that should Hamas be victorious that open warfare between Hamas and Fatah would follow.

Many of the Palestinians who have chosen to support Hamas have done so because they feel that Fatah has been ineffective in resolving the Palestinian crisis. They have seen year after year of occupation and oppression. They have been removed from their land, denied many basic human rights and feel that Israel is their enemy. They believe Israel’s primary goal is to eliminate them as a people and that Fatah is helping them to achieve that goal by negotiating with them. They strongly believe that Israel is a terrorist state. Combine that belief with the belief that Israel has taken their lands illegally and you have one volatile mixture.

It is believed that Hamas is being funded primarily by Iran, and probably by Jordan and some groups in Saudi Arabia. Hamas relies on violence as its chief means of achieving its goals. They believe that a truce is to be used as a means of regrouping and regaining their strength. Until Israel makes them a “serious” offer, which includes the complete withdraw from Palestine (pre-1947), they will not end the jihad (holy war). They have openly declared in propaganda pamphlets that Palestinians should “increase attacks with knives, grenades, and guns against the cowardly Jews in their houses and turn the day into darkness and the nights into intolerable hell * * * view every Jewish settler as a target to be killed, whose blood and money are for the taking.” [From the FAS / CRS ]

Looking at things through this perspective certainly gives one a feeling of hopelessness when it comes to seeking a tolerable solution to this problem. Keep in mind, though, that there are many, many Palestinians who do want peace. They would like nothing more than to be able to raise their children in safety, send them to school, go to work, and have a “normal” life. These are the people who unfortunately become the victims of this horrific battle. There have been so many painful and intolerable acts committed on both sides of this war that I believe its very difficult, if not fully impossible to cast blame on any one people. The fact of the matter is this…the politics of this situation has cost too many people their lives. Men, women, and children have been suffering for generations and the political aspect, negotiations, and wars have done little, if anything, to resolve the crisis. I believe that the only solution is to be found through a united humanitarian front. That front begins with educating people about the humanitarian crisis that has taken place and continues throughout the lands of Israel and Palestine. The next post will be an attempt to do just that.

Israel and Gaza at War...Continued

2008-12-30T13:02:00.010-05:00

Are we ready for the next entry in the Israel, Gaza conflict? I hope so. Now, this post is bound to be controversial. I fully expect to hear about it from somebody, but I intend to speak my mind nonetheless. So without further ado and invoking the previous day’s warnings, here we go.

1. I have friends on both sides of this conflict, Jewish and Arab alike, I love you all but I’m sure that some of what I may say will piss you off. Sorry. I’m going to say it anyway. For those who know me, I would hope that you would feel free to express your views on this matter knowing that I fully respect your thoughts and opinions. That does not mean that my views will change. It does mean that I am willing to hear what you have to say. For anyone else who wishes to comment please know this; your opinions will be equally respected, acknowledged, and considered providing they are given with dignity and tact, and are free from bigoted, slanderous, or hateful remarks.
2. My primary interest in this conflict is humanitarian, not political, but I intend to cover diverse subject matter. This means that this post will be VERY long. I will be subdividing it into the following topics: The history of the conflict; The terrorist perspective; The political perspective; The humanitarian perspective
3. Lastly, some of the discussion and many of the pictures may be difficult for some people to deal with. Please know that my only intent is to draw attention to the serious nature of this conflict in hopes that we may soon see an end to a most horrific situation.

The Terrorist Perspective:

The question that’s begging to be asked in my mind is, “What defines a terrorist?” or “What makes a person a terrorist?” To me, I think the definition is completely relative. I think it all depends on how you look at the situation. In other words – terrorism is in the eyes of the beholder.

Now, I feel that anyone who finds it necessary to kill another human being in order to get something they want, regardless of what that is, is a person who has a lot of moral dilemmas to work out. But lets face it people, a terrorist is a person whose goals, and or agenda, is contrary to the dominating government entity and who takes violent measures to achieve their goal/s. The governing body at the moment will always determine who the terrorists are.

This means that, yes; the people responsible for founding our country were technically terrorists. I would think that you would be hard pressed to find a person in the 18th century British ruling party who thought otherwise. There have been many acts of terrorism throughout human history and it is always the people whose views or principals that are being challenged who jump on the term and tag their opponents as terrorists.

The fact of the matter, though, is like it or not, the so called terrorists may have a fierce principal that they are standing up for, such as say; freedom from oppression. Whatever the reason, a terrorist is only a terrorist to those who oppose him. To others, he/she is a freedom fighter, or even a hero.

I know this argument has been made before, but I think it’s valid and worth reminding people that we need to take a good hard look at those we deem terrorists and try to understand why they are acting the way they are. If we don’t we will never find peace. Also, it doesn’t matter who the terrorists are, when it comes to war people die. And that’s what’s at the bottom of our outrage when it comes to acts of terrorism. People die, and we hurt for them. We don’t want to hurt for the terrorist because they are the ones who have caused the initial pain, and so we label them evil and dismiss their pain. We demonize them, make them less than human so that we can justify to ourselves our own hatred and pain. I think that may be human nature, but it doesn’t change the fact that somewhere out there is someone who has been pushed to the brink by a force that he/she deems to be oppressive.

A terrorist believes that their only recourse is violence. This is why it is near impossible to reason with them or make them believe that other alternatives could be more effective. In their minds, all other options have already failed. This doesn’t make for a very promising outcome. Either the terrorists lose, or the ruling government loses. You would think that a terrorist could see the lack of his/her own best interest in this scenario, but lets face it, too many times throughout history terrorists have been successful. That information probably doesn’t help in the dissuading of a terrorist. I mean think about it. You’ve watched your loved ones suffer, possibly die, under the current regime. You’ve had everything taken from you and are left with no means to express your voice and outrage. You can either give in and except the oppressed life that you’ve been handed, or you can fight. If you fight there’s a good chance that you’ll lose but at least you’ll go out defending your right to live as you see fit, and maybe you’ll be able to set enough of an example that others will follow in your footsteps, hence, keeping the fight alive. Maybe not in your life time, but at some point, the people you care about will be able to live in a manner of their own choosing. And, there is at least some chance that you could win. What would you do?

I know enough people, here in the US, who would be willing to fight to the death over stupider causes than one’s freedom. When a person is desperate they take desperate measures. I don’t think we’re all that far removed, yet, from the animal instinct that causes a strike when cornered. Am I defending terrorism? That’s actually a tough question. Personally, as close to a pacifist as I am; I am not a total pacifist. If I’m being attacked, I’ll defend myself. If I watched a government slaughter my family, or others that I cared about, and then lock me away. I’d have to say; damn straight I’d fight back. Let’s face it that’s one of the things that makes us who we are. Can anyone say…Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood? Hell, I don’t think there’s an American out there today who can’t relate to the movies these guys have been in. Let’s face it, they have all fought (and won) to defend their, beliefs, way of life, and loved ones. In the eyes of a terrorist, they see their self in the way Hollywood makes us see our pop idles. Defenders of what’s good and what’s right, and to them, that’s worth dying for.

Tomorrow I’m going to take a look at the political perspective. Today’s post was rather general in that it didn’t specifically speak on any Israeli or Palestinian terrorist. I guess I did that intentionally. I wanted to examine why a terrorist, any terrorist, chooses that course of action. Tomorrow I’ll focus more directly on the ruling parties of Israel and Hamas, and their political interests. Oh and, sorry for the last picture…I couldn’t resist.

Israel and Gaza at War

2008-12-29T15:14:00.007-05:00

Alright, so here we go. Unless you’ve been living in a hole lately you should be aware that Israel and Palestine have resumed fighting in Gaza. Now, before I get fully into this post I feel that’s it’s necessary to post several warnings to anyone who chooses to read this.
1. I have friends on both sides of this conflict, Jewish and Arab alike, I love you all but I’m sure that some of what I may say will piss you off. Sorry. I’m going to say it anyway. For those who know me, I would hope that you would feel free to express your views on this matter knowing that I fully respect your thoughts and opinions. That does not mean that my views will change. It does mean that I am willing to hear what you have to say. For anyone else who wishes to comment please know this; your opinions will be equally respected, acknowledged, and considered providing they are given with dignity and tact, and are free from bigoted, slanderous, or hateful remarks.
2. My primary interest in this conflict is humanitarian, not political, but I intend to cover diverse subject matter. This means that this post will be VERY long. I will be subdividing it into the following topics: The history of the conflict; The terrorist perspective; The political perspective; The humanitarian perspective
3. Lastly, some of the discussion and many of the pictures may be difficult for some people to deal with. Please know that my only intent is to draw attention to the serious nature of this conflict in hopes that we may soon see an end to a most horrific situation.

The History of the Conflict:

Prior to WWI the Middle East was under Ottoman rule. At the onset of the war Turkey sided with Germany. The British government persuaded the other Arab nations to fight against Turkey by promising them independent rule after the war. With the aid of the Arab nations Palestine was conquered.

Unbeknownst to the Arab nations, however, Britain had also made two other agreements which were contradictory to the agreement made with the Arab nations. First was the Sykes-Picot Agreement made with France. This agreement stated that Lebanon and Syria would fall to France as a zone of influence, while Jordan and Iraq would be dominated by British influence. Palestine was to become internationalized. The second agreement was made between Britain and the Zionist congress. In the Balfour Declaration of 1917 Britain gave Palestine to the Zionists as a Jewish national home. Despite the fact that there were over half a million Palestinians living in Palestine at the time, a slogan stating “A land without people for a people without land” was widely circulated as a means of drawing in a new Jewish population to Palestine. After WWI a large population of Jewish people began migrating to Palestine under the blessings of Britain and the League of Nations in accordance to the Balfour Declaration.

In 1919 the Palestinian people made an official objection to the Balfour Agreement during their first national conference. But by 1920 Britain had been given “official” rule over Palestine according to a mandate declared at the San Remo Conference. By 1922 attacks on the Jewish population in Palestine were increasing. The Palestinians feared the next step beyond the migration, which was declaring Palestine a Jewish state.

In 1936 Palestinians organized a strike to protest the confiscation of land that was taking place. Palestinians were being removed from their homes, some of which had been in their families for generations, and the land was given to Jewish settlers. In 1937 the Peel Commission recognized the conflict as irresolvable and recommended the division of Palestine into separate Jewish and Arab states with neutral sacred sites. In accordance to this recommendation Britain declared that there would be an independent Palestinian state within ten years. The Zionists rejected this declaration in 1939 and formed two terrorist sects which began a new war between both Palestine and Britain, but Britain remained in control until 1947. By the end of WWII (1945) Palestine’s land ownerships had been divided between Palestinian and Jewish occupants.

By 1947, though, Britain was struggling more and more to maintain control and decided to withdraw from Palestine, leaving the newly formed UN with the decision of what to do. The UN opted to divide Palestine into separate Jewish and Arab states. The Palestinians revolted declaring their desire for retribution for the Israeli terrorist attacks and massacres that had taken place, as well as the land that had been confiscated.

On May 15th, 1948 Britain withdraws from Palestine leaving an official recognition of the existence of a Jewish state. This day brought with it a full out attack on Israel from the surrounding Arab nations who, in conjunction with Palestine, declared war on Israel. This was the first Arab-Israeli war. Palestine, Egypt, Transjordan (now Jordan), Syria, Lebanon, and Iraq joined together in an attempt to prevent the Jewish state from coming to be. The Arab nations were defeated and treaties were made which placed the Gaza strip under Egyptian control and the West Bank under Jordan’s control. The remaining area fell to Israel and of the 800,000 people living in the now Israeli occupied land, only 170,000 remained. The others became refugees in the surrounding Arab nations.

Over the next two decades conflicts, between Israel and the Arab nations, occurred over the Suez Canal and the formation of the Palestinian Liberation Organization. In 1967 Egypt insisted that the UN forces which had been in place there, since the Suez Canal incident, leave. Upon the withdraw of UN forces Israel launched an attack against Egypt, Jordan, and Syria on the 5th of June, known as the Six Day War. When the war concluded Israel had captured and occupied the Gaza Strip, Sinai Peninsula, Arab East Jerusalem, the West Bank, and Golan Heights. Soon after, terrorist attacks by members of the PLO began, claiming the redemption of Palestine as their objective.

In 1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel in an attempt to gain back the territory lost in 1967. The United States intervened and stopped the Arab forces. In retaliation to the US intervention the Arab nations banded together and halted the sale of oil to the US and other western nations, creating the oil shortage of the 70s. In 1974 Kissinger arranged a truce that gave Sinai back to Egypt and Golan Heights back to Syria. Israel maintained control of the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. That same year the Arab Summit recognized the PLO as the only legitimate voice of the Palestinian people.

In 1982 Israel invaded Lebanon in order to wipe out the PLO presence there. By 1987 the “Intifadas” had begun. These were uprisings that took place within the refugee camps of Gaza and the West Bank which included demonstrations, protests, and rock throwing. In 1990 Yasser Arafat went to the UN Security Council requesting protection for the Palestinian people within the Gaza and West Bank areas. In 1991 peace talks began. In 1993 Israeli PM Rabin and PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat agree to allow the Gaza Strip and the West Bank to become self-ruled, but in 1995 PM Rabin is assassinated by a right-wing extremist. The Israeli right wing leader, Benjamin Netanyahu becomes the new Prime Minister in 1996.

In the years following we have seen too many treaties/agreements come and go. Today, the West Bank is governed by the Fatah led Palestinian Authority while the Gaza Strip falls under the mandates of Hamas. The Fatah party is recognized as a legitimate organization by Israel but the Hamas organization is seen as a group of terrorists. A recent breakdown of a treaty between Israel and Hamas is what has caused the current conflict. Israel claims Hamas broke the treay, Hamas claims Israel did. Who knows? But I do know this: Many Arab nations still wish to see Israel disbanded and declared a non-nation; while many Israelites believe that the Palestinians are incapable of governing themselves. Both of these claims, I believe are completely ludicrous. But here you have the basis for the current situation. I warned you this was going to be a Looooong post. It looks like I’ll be posting the other portions tomorrow. Of course, if I get on a roll this could span out over a few days; we’ll have to see. At any rate, now you know where all of the conflict is stemming from. It seems to me that both sides have made mistakes but well, let’s face it, Britain - this is really your fault. Now, I have to say that the US is also partially responsible since we were the ones who put together the League of Nations and the UN, and lets face it they played a pretty big role in all of this too. Unfortunately, the past is the past and nothing will ever change that, so let’s start looking at each other as human beings instead of ancestral monsters and stop this craziness now. Alright, I won’t make you read anymore today. Tomorrow; the Terrorist Perspective.

A Merry Christmas

2008-12-27T20:15:00.006-05:00

So, Christmas has come and gone. The holiday rush is over and everyone is chillin’. Around here, all in all, things went well. We didn’t have a lot to spend on the kids but we were able to get them a few things each that they wanted. I think they were happy. Of course, G, our youngest got a broken toy two years in a row now. That really sucked, poor guy. We bought him a remote control dragon that was supposed to do all sorts of stuff including walking. G wanted to be able to walk over the top of his other toys and pretend he was crushing them, kind of a Godzilla thing, I think. He originally asked for a D-Rex, but yeah, right…179.00 dollars. I don’t think so. This one cost 40.00 a considerable difference and would have been perfect. He was very excited when he saw it. Unfortunately, the button on the remote that makes the dragon walk and makes his wings flap is the broken one. The darn thing will do everything else, its eyes light up, it roars, but no walkie. Figures. I plan on taking it back to the store this coming week but man, last year he had a broken dinosaur toy, too. So, the whole large reptilian toy thing just hasn’t been working out well. On the plus side, though, he absolutely loves the harmonica he received, so it wasn’t a waste for him. The other kids were all happy with their stuff, PC games, bedding, Bakugon, Nerf guns, Tini Puppinies, and skateboards all topped the list.

The older kids (the ones who now live on their own) all got a check. It works well for them. But… they also got some homemade sewn goodies. S&B got a Bears apron and overstuffed pillow, K&D got a Bears apron and a Colts overstuffed pillow, and G&J got extra-long fleece blankets. J stands about 7 foot tall so I thought that he may have a hard time finding a blanket that he can wrap up in. I made them each an 8 foot by 5 foot blanky. G’s has white Japanese letters (characters ?) against a black background. J’s has a woodland duck scene. I wanted to find him something cool like Star Wars, or D&D type stuff, but no luck. I think he liked it though. He’ll be able to cover up from head to foot and wrap his feet up, too. He said that they’ve had to keep an extra blanket down at the end of the bed so he can cover up his feet when they’re sleeping so I thin it was a good choice. C has asked for a Bears shirt to be made for him from the extra material. I told him I need to get a pattern, but I think it’s doable.

Well, so much for the Christmas updatey thing. I think I’ll be spending some time in the near future doing some writing. Besides the novel (that has been sorely neglected over the holidays), I also need to write an article and keep up on the blog entries. I submitted the poetry chapbook but I won’t hear anything on it until February. Keep your fingers crossed. Check ya later.

Christmas Holiday

2008-12-16T13:51:00.007-05:00

K, so the holidays are here and in full swing. Despite the economic crunch I still have much baking, sewing, cleaning, and cooking to do. What does this mean to you? Probably not too much, unless of course, you’re a devoted reader of this blog who can’t seem to go a day without a fix. Yeah, yeah…I know there’s sooo many of you out there *wink*. Seriously, though, it does mean that there’s a good chance my posts will become more erratic for a while. This is not to say that they haven’t been erratic in the past, but I’m just trying to forewarn everyone. I’m considerate that way.

So on with the post of the day – Question: What do a pair of shoes, President Bush, and an Iraqi journalist all have in common?

Answer: If you haven’t heard…During President Bush’s last visit to Iraq an Iraqi journalist threw a pair of shoes at the, soon to be, ex-pres. Now, why shoes? In Iraq it is considered to be a great disgrace to have shoes thrown at you. I’m not exactly sure why, R’s take on the matter was that “You throw a shoe at a dog” which may very well be on track here. Bush was able to duck out of the way and was not injured or even touched by the shoes, but the man was arrested nonetheless.

A couple of things here – Bush’s reply, when asked about the incident, basically stated that he believed this to be the opinion of one man and not at all a reflection of the Iraqi populace’s feelings. My take…OMG get real Bush! Iraq has been thrown back into the dark ages here, their infrastructure destroyed, their way of life altered forever, and lets not forget to mention the tens of thousands of innocent men, women, and children who have died as a direct result of this war that was waged in the name of “Weapons of Mass Destruction” that everyone but apparently Bush knew were not there. Can Bush, by any minute proportion, actually believe what he is saying? Good God, I give up!

Next, and this is really the most important point of my post today, so please if you pay attention to nothing else, read this –
The journalist who has a wife and family to care for has been placed under arrest. He is facing up to two years in prison for throwing a shoe people! Give me a freakn’ break. Let’s be honest here. Ok, so what he did could “technically” be considered (what?) an assault on a government official. What it actually boils down to is a frustrated man, who has been placed under extreme hardship conditions, living in a country where neither he nor his family can safely exist, who attempted to have his voice and frustration heard. He wanted Bush to understand that he blames him for the atrocities he has seen and still has to live with. And how did he do this? By throwing a shoe! Not a bomb, not a knife, he didn’t take a shot at him. He used a pretty harmless object, an object that anyone with children has probably witnessed flying through the air at some point in time. And for this, the man may receive two years in prison. What, long enough for his family to die under the current hardships faced by the people of Iraq? For throwing a shoe he and his family should be given a death sentence? I personally think it’s amazing that an actual attempt on Bush’s life wasn’t made by someone there. What about you? Do you think two years in an Iraqi prison is a bit too much? I’m very interested in knowing how others view this situation. Please, leave your thoughts.

And…Happy Holidays because even when the world sucks, life goes on.

Environmental Fugitives

2008-12-11T23:11:00.020-05:00

I came across an interesting article today. It seems that there’s a new most wanted list out now. This list doesn’t concentrate on the average criminal, though. The new list highlights environmental fugitives. These are people who are either responsible for, or have aided others, in environmental crimes. Now they have fled in an attempt to evade justice. The list is a way to bring these people’s faces to the public so that it might be harder for them to hide and, therefore, get away with their crimes. Now, some may wonder what the big is regarding environmental crime, so I thought I’d put up some pictures today that show what the big is. The rest of this post will show the sad side of our world. These pictures show the way the world is in too many areas. Our planet is far from pristine, the last thing we need is people exploiting her for their financial gain. I mean really, that’s like them saying “I’m going to come over to your house today and dump some industrial waste in your backyard so I can make a buck. You don’t mind do you? How’s the kid’s sandbox work for you, ok?” The planet isn’t large so anything they do does affect us in some way whether it is dirty air or water, or toxic materials lying in wait. I hate to see this side of our world but it’s a good reminder that not everything in nature is beautiful and wondrous and that our planet needs help. I know I don’t want to look at something like the following for the rest of my life.

Air Pollution

Water Pollution

Nuclear Waste

Industrial Waste

Strip Mining

What lingers in the fog?

2008-12-09T12:56:00.003-05:00

It creeps its way through the back woods and travels along the vacant pathways. Silent, as it descends down the wooden stairs and into the back yard. Gently rolling over the patio, it spreads itself between the flower planters; the cedar absorbs the mist and hides it in their porous beams. As the water beads and drips to the concrete the puddles vibrate and spread. The tiniest waves make their way up to the door and partially reform into a blanket of white that curtains the glass. I look out, unsure. I begin to slide the door open and peer into the vapors. Seeing nothing I step, onto the patio “ARRHHH!!!!” the water sinks through my slippers and soaks my socks. Wet feet, wet feet, stunned and lingering in the fog.

Don’t bother asking me where this came from; I honestly have no idea. It just came out. Sometimes my brain just wonders like that. I’m told that it’s only insanity if you’re poor, otherwise it’s eccentric. Crap! I guess that means I’m nuts, huh? Oh well, today I shall go on my merry little crazy way.

Playing the Catch Up Game

2008-12-05T11:21:00.003-05:00

I’ve been introduced to a new phenomenon. Well, ok maybe it’s not exactly new but I’ve never been exposed to it or any thing like it. I’ll spare you the tension…it’s Facebook. Ooo and you thought it was going to be something all out of the ordinary didn’t you? I never got on the My Space kick so I really don’t have any knowledge when it comes to these places. So far, I do like it. It was rather overwhelming at first; there was just so much to take in, but I think I’m adapting now. I’ve been able to have closer contact with many of my friends and I’ve even been reacquainted with a dear friend from my childhood.

It’s sort of bizarre, though, that the technology seems so busy. One would think that a person with a degree in Computer Technology wouldn’t have such a freaky experience with something like Facebook, but here I am. I’m sure that being out of the industry since 2001 has had its effect and left me behind the crowd, but still. I guess the only thing I can figure is that I was a network person more than an applications type. It’s just amazing, though, to find how advanced even the networking has become. So…my amazement aside, that’s what I’ve been doing the last couple of days…working on Facebook.

Yes, that means that I have also neglected my PAD Challenge although I’m not out of luck. I have a few poems to go to finish off the 30 that were requested and I do plan on finishing those. Why, you may ask? Ok…I’ll tell you. It’s because Writer’s Market, the creators of Poetic Asides, have put forth a contest using the November theme poems. Participants are to select 10 -20 of their poems and put them together into a submission where they will be judged. Now, at the moment the only “prize”, so to speak, is bragging rights; it has been mentioned that a really good win may be submitted for a chapbook publication. So, I’m going to submit my work and keep my fingers crossed. Please keep yours crossed for me. Thanks. The winner will be announced February 2nd.

Other catch up news, this weekend is Vampire game weekend. My character is on the verge of being killed due to my “OMFG She Didn’t” experience. It seems that a scape goat may be needed since last game the masquerade was broken when the video made it out to the WWW. This, of course, is very bad for me. I am currently hiding out and may have to abandon my clan and turn to the Toreadors for aid. All of this does seem to be in accordance to our game master’s plan so…I guess this horse will drink deep of the water she has been led to. If anything majorly exciting happens I’ll throw out an update after the game.

As for the bad news….R was notified that the transport company he works for will be eliminating 60% of their workforce by March. Gotta love this economy, huh? We don’t know for sure yet if he will be a part of the elimination, it’s a waiting game now. The cuts will include people from every level, though, so the possibility is certainly there. To my understanding it means over a hundred jobs. Our area here has been hit with this news, and the news of about another 300 – 400 other job losses as well. Hold on folks…it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

Happy Holidays Unless You’re Working in Retail

2008-11-29T14:53:00.011-05:00

So, I’m sure most of you have heard about the Wal-Mart employee who was trampled to death; and the two innocent people who were shot to death at Toys-R-Us after two other shoppers got into a gun fight over a toy. And, here we are into the holiday season that celebrates love, joy, and the compassion of humanity.

For crying out loud! I honestly do not understand society’s need to possess as many material objects as they can. People have completely lost their minds. In the first place, why in God’s name would ANYONE wait for hours on end for a store to open? Who cares if they might be able to get a deal? I mean seriously people; I have better things to do with my life, what about you? Has our society become so obsessed by the need to consume that people would trample down and kill other human beings just so they could get the “best deal” on an object that will most likely be thrown out within a decade, or even as soon as next month?

Did you guys know that the people who murdered this man at Walmart were then upset, not because they had caused the death of another human being, but because the store closed for the investigation? It’s crap like this that makes me think the human race really does not deserve to live. I mean really, this is what we have evolved too? We are so intent on gaining material wealth that we would communally destroy the life of an innocent person. You know what really makes me sick, though? It’s the thought that there is probably a good many of those people who were involved who are at this moment justifying their actions. I can hear it now, “I didn’t actually run over the guy.” “I was caught up in the crowd, I had to keep moving or I’d get trampled” or how about the idiots who assaulted the police that were there to try and help, and the dick heads who battered the other employees as they desperately tried to save their associate? I wonder what bullshit excuses any of those people have. I say bullshit, because that’s what it is. If people weren’t so driven for material possessions and had any sense about them, in my opinion, they would never have been at that store (or any store) that morning and so, no matter what they have to say, they are guilty of causing these people’s deaths. That goes for anyone at any store, anywhere that Black Friday is celebrated. You are all guilty, because you are all responsible for causing these insane circumstances.

Personally, I have never shopped on Black Friday, I think it’s the mark of a true sheep. When I was 17 I had to work at a retail store on Black Friday, that was (what?) like 28 years ago and it was horrible then. It’s obviously only gotten worse. I’m of the opinion that the stores would be more likely to offer better deals throughout the year if more people avoided the mad rush of Black Friday. Of course, that’s just my meaningless opinion.

So, let’s hear it for the death of those three people. Yeah! Who cares that they won’t be celebrating the holidays with their families this year? It’s survival of the fittest here and those people that caused their deaths can have a wonderful, happy holiday knowing that they got a good deal on the gifts they are giving away. Besides, it just means that there will be less people to fend off next year. So, to all of you who fought the battle for the best deal and played a part in the cross country madness, my hats off to you. You’re a bunch of dumb fucks! Sorry, I call it as I see it. I think if you play a part in perpetuating this material possession obsession then you deserve to be called a dumb fuck. And for any of my friends who may have been a part of the Black Friday madness, sorry for the offend, but you, too, are dumb fucks – but I mean that in the most loving and caring way possible.

So, with that off my chest, at least there is a glimmer of hope that keeps me moving forward and not totally thinking that the world would be a better place without the human race. Hopefully, you’ll find some meaning in it too. Some
people aren’t afraid to share the wealth

Where have all the people gone?

2008-11-20T20:27:00.008-05:00

It’s crazy! Crazy I tell ya! It can’t be true! Surely there must be people out there somewhere. But if there were someone, wouldn’t they have commented by now? I guess I’ll just carry on all by my lonesome. (hint, hint) K, now that I have that off my chest perhaps I’ll be able to move on.

I’m watching a program on the National Geographic Channel about Stonehenge, called “Stonehenge Decoded”. A new theory has given rise to an archeological dig in the surrounding fields. Apparently this man believes it was used as a religious place where the souls of the dead were believed to be held. They’re looking for evidence of a civilization that existed around the same period. I guess we’ll see how it turns out. Ooh, update, they have found the largest known settlement in northern Europe for that time (4,500 years ago) the population well into the thousands.

So, I also read an article today about life on Mars. Scientists have found massive glaciers on Mars that are not near the polar caps. One of them is the size of L.A. and over half a mile thick. They said that with that much water it is possible that life could have existed. They would like to see if they can find any organisms locked inside the ice. Cool.

I’ll close with my day 20 PAD challenge. We had to complete the refrain we wrote on the 3rd day. Here it is. That’s all I’m going to talk about today. Feel free to comment, that way I may begin to believe that I’m not alone.

Some nights I walk in
my garden
outlines of formal paths
display the healing herbs of
classic medicine

Inside the borders a boundless
Zen – peaceful retreat into
breath and passage
creating solitude in an
aching world

Aromatherapy, soothing sanctuary,
the essence of stillness bottled
into dried petals whose
flowering has called me
to amble in their midst

As creation blossoms
within the garden’s sacred places
I am
carried back inside the house
where we touch
in the most tenderess sleep

Some Ketchup...er...Catch Up Please

2008-11-16T11:30:00.003-05:00

K, so I haven’t been writing again. You should know by now that it happens. I was playing catch up today on my Poem A Day challenge. I fell behind on that, as well, and found myself having to write, um..yep, six poems. But…on the plus side I think it really put me into a poetic type mood and I really got into it. I’m posting three of them here. The last one…I don’t know…maybe the pressure of having to write so many poems at once caused the break but…I found that I just couldn’t resist. Enjoy. Please feel free to comment on them. I would really like to have the feedback. Thanks.

Day 11 – Deep thought or observational poem

I remember falling from my mother’s
drying body
to the ground. The earth was warmed by
summer’s light.

Laying on the soil nature had its
way with me
and covered my shell with earthly
debris

The world around me became dark I
felt winter’s breath
gliding its ice above me as I
hid swaddled in the dirt

Warmth began to permeate
my inner being
I wanted to live and to grow and I
unfurled the life within me

A tender sprout of green rose
up and into day’s light
I grew tall and strong - a beautiful flower -
in my prime

As days grew shorter I felt myself
weaken
Knowing my days were approaching end I
released my seed and mothered my own
life.

Day 15 – A nightmare poem

Leaves blow in the dark October
wind. Seedheads sprinkling their
hardened kernels
onto my face.

I try to rise from the tangled
earth that grasps my legs
with its vines of wrath. Falling
back into the ground.

Crying for aid in the twilight hours
no one hears but skeleton
stalks of herbs gone by
uprooted by panicked hands trying to
grip something unshakable.

Swallowed into the worms and
bugs, crawling across my face
my arms, my neck. Deeper under the earth
until I wake in bed and
brush the sweat from my dream.

Day 16 – Title Prompts
“If it (blank), It (blank)”

“If it (is planted), It (will grow)”

I planted a seed under the ground
I covered it with love
I watered it and gave it food
And watched it from above

I waited long and never strayed
I beckoned it to grow
As days and months came and went
My tears began to flow

I soon began to realize
That my seedling needed more
It would never see the light of day
Why did I plant it in the floor?

OMFG-She Didn’t!

2008-11-10T17:41:00.002-05:00

Oh what a night was the Vampire game…a memorable eve in vampire history. The title to this post is the title given to a video clip that was recorded during a social coterie at the Elysium. A coterie is a gathering a vampires for various purposes. A social coterie is just that, vampires get together to socialize. There are many different types of coteries like diplomatic and wartime coteries, each sounding pretty much like what their purpose is. An Elysium is a place where vampires gather and all agree to (basically) behave themselves. In other words, no weapons, no fighting, no clan wars, blah blah blah…get the idea?

K, so back at the coterie a Malkavian, unbeknownst to anyone other than the other Malkavians decided to have some fun. You see, the Malkavians are the crazy vampires, and I do mean crazy as in nuts, out to lunch, the lights are on but nobody is home, crazy. So, Harmony (the Malkavian) decides to round up about 10-20 cats, yes cats, and because it makes her feel at home (she used to do this same thing at the mental hospital she is no longer in) she attached some flashlights to them and released them inside the Elysium. So there we are with cats everywhere and all these vampires going, “What the F***? Where did all these cats come from?” Now, I know what you’re thinking, you’re wondering, “What’s the big?” Right? So what, a bunch of cats.

Well, you see it just so happened that my character was at the coterie. “So what?” you ask. When I created my character I took a flaw. Flaws allow you to gain benefits in other areas so many people take them when they make up their characters. The flaw I took was a “Phobia”. Have you figured it out yet? Yes, my phobia is cats. I freak whenever they’re around me. Now, while I managed to make two rolls that kept me from going into an all out frenzy; I botched a third one.

Frenzies are bad, think 11th century warrior dropped into the 21st century on crack. When a vampire goes into frenzy they’re virtually unstoppable and anything can happen. My frenzy ended after I jumped threw the air trying to avoid the cats, tackled three Nosferatu body guards and then landed directly on the Prince. Oh, it gets better. Not only did I land on the Prince of the city I knocked him off of his throne and rolled with him down the flight of stairs behind him to the landing below where I ended up face to face on top of him. Yikes! As if that wasn’t bad enough.

The evening continued…several vamps got it on tape, so to speak. They filmed the entire thing with their cell phones and then released it out to the ENTIRE vampire community within the city, attaching theme music to it like “Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting” and titled it, yep…OMFG She Didn’t! This was fuel for the fire no doubt. The Prince could have had me killed right then and there, fortune was on my side thankfully, as I and the Prince are in the same clan. We’re Ventrue and fortunately the Prince sort of likes me so he only ordered me to go home and not show my face for a while, quite a while.

Now, while the video was making its rounds, Harmony (she is so dead) crazy Malkavian decided to send a present to the Prince to make him feel better. She boxed up a Persian and sent it to the Prince. When he opened the package the cat went nuts, windows were broken, the Prince’s head was latched onto and…it was all captured by Harmony’s good Malkavian friend, on video.

So, at the moment the Prince and I are the laughing stock of the city. He’s pretty pissed off and I’m trying to do some serious damage control before my career and afterlife are wiped from existence. Damn vampires….Through my investigation (I’m a lawyer) I was able to figure out that the Brujahs were responsible for the first video being made and released. I have decided on some serious just revenge, and…I was also able to piece together who was responsible for the cats because I was there at the asylum when Harmony became involved with our city’s vampire population and kitty’s with flashlights were running a muck. Anyway, revenge is in the works. We’ll see how things play out and I’ll try to keep you updated on the more fun/interesting stuff.

Game Night Tonight

2008-11-08T10:00:00.006-05:00

We have our Vampire game tonight. It’s been a while since we played. Everyone had something else going on for Halloween weekend, which would have been our game weekend, so we didn’t play. Since we only run the game every other week we’ve been on hold for close to a month now. I can’t remember what I was doing last game; it’s a good thing I take notes or I’d be all sorts of lost.

I remember that I bought myself a house to act as my hidden haven. No one will know where it’s at. I decided to throw off the usual basement sanctuary and make my sleeping quarters in the attic. I had a construction team come in and conceal the entrance and extra exit. I’ve also had the attic lined with steel plating to prevent the accidental hole in the roof. (Sun bad). I’m creating a rather elaborate tunnel system stemming from the basement. It will have passages that lead out to several shelters that have been placed out in the wooded property. It will also have several hidden rooms where I will be able to keep ghouls and an emergency feeding bank. That’s a bit further down the line, though. I currently don’t have the power needed to nest people there and keep them under control. It’ll come, though. I guess that’s it for Vampire right now. We’ll see if anything big happens tonight. If so, then I’ll probably make a post about it.

Still on the gaming topic, but now on D&D. I’ve started running a game for the 4 youngest kids on our off game weekends. They’ve wanted to play for some time now. They see the adult game going on and long to participate. So, I figured it would be a good time to start them out. Their ages are 8, 9, 10, & 13 all but the 13 year old will be advancing a year within the next couple of months. It’s also a learning experience for me. I’ve never DMd before (run the game). I figure if I mess up they won’t notice, so…why not?

The kids are actually doing quite well. I was surprised at their level of understanding so far. Our 9 year old is playing a rouge and has really taken to the role playing aspect of the game. She does a wonderful job of playing in character. She’s always been extremely creative, though, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprise; but I am pleased. The youngest is playing a fighter. He still has a ways to go, I think, before he really gets into it. At the last game he was confronted by 4 goblins, as a dwarven fighter, he should have just kicked their butts, no questions asked. Instead he ran away…silly dwarf. I discussed it with him and found that he was afraid his character would die. (of course, that does happen from time to time). What he didn’t understand, though, was that if the character does die he can just make up another one and continue playing. He thought he would have to start over at the first level and lose all the XP he had gained. I assured him that he would be allowed to bring a new character in at the average party level. I think that made him feel better about fighting. We’ll see next game.

Man, look how I’ve rambled on about this stuff. I really do enjoy playing, if you hadn’t noticed. I guess I’ll cut it off here, though. The kid’s game has really been a lot of fun and I’m sure I’ll post some further updates on it. For now, though, I must go and clean the house, run to the store, and prepare dinner for the game tonight. Check you all out later. Have a good one and, oh…they say it’s going to snow tonight. I wonder if we’ll have our first accumulation *shrug*

Day 6 of PAD

2008-11-06T12:05:00.005-05:00

The challenge today was to write a poem of praise. This is what I came up with. Sorry the post is short; I have two articles that are quickly approaching deadline. So, without further waiting
Oh...and without a title...big surprise
Here's my poem of praise

Rose petals in the air
tossed in screaming
jubilation beckon the ground
landing to patterns of whimsy

Scents spring through the air
as pointed spires of rosemary
brush like feathers and
tickle my face

Kitties roll, they dig,
knock over containers of cat mints
as peppermints watch
safe from the scurry

Spider, brown and yellow like
fallen leaves of autumn
awaits its supper dodging
back and forth in webs of
graceful steel

Life, life sings its living
song and dances through
the waiting days of
tomorrow.

Let the Challenge Continue

2008-11-03T12:32:00.008-05:00

Nicholas Culpepper

It’s the second day in the PAD challenge. I’ve written and posted my poem. The prompt was to make a declarative poem. I created mine with the voice and perspective of Nicholas Culpepper a famous herbalist and physician of his time (1616-1654). Since my theme is Herbs it seemed to fit.
I’m actually pretty unhappy with the last stanza. I just don’t like it and I’m sure there’s a rewrite in the future. Anyone who would care to offer some feedback wouldn’t go unthanked…hint, hint.

Oh! One other thing that I wanted to mention.
Dave, a recent visitor to my blog has a poem on his site in which dialogue was used. I thought this was a really neat idea and so…decided to give it a try myself. Thanks Dave for the inspiration.

Alright – Here it is

Culpepper’s Declaration

“The shrub is so well known by every boy and girl
that has but attained
the age of seven years, that it needs no description.”

How is it now, how could I see
that so few elder
and scarcely a child know - not even by name
or less by sight – Barberry

“The face being washed with the distilled water
of them – cureth the reddest face
that is.”

Cucumbers now
the women slice and like pennies
on the eyes they lie to the
swollen bags dismay.

“The juice of the leaves is a remedy
against the bites of serpents,
and for those that have taken
Aconite.”

Baked in pies to fill the stomach
Mulberry treats now warm
the heart. Feed the body
and the devil’s forgot.

Endless flows of time
resonate adversarial motion toward
arts of old once held dear
now enter this day all things are new
but plants still live and grow
as I find peace beneath them.

Poetry for You

2008-11-02T14:53:00.005-05:00

Well, I’ve noticed that I really haven’t been writing any poetry lately. I’ve been writing, writing fiction, writing articles for two magazines, writing in my blog, even writing some monologues but no.. that’s zero, notta, zip, zilch…poetry. So…

I found myself at the Poetic Asides blog where there is usually some really decent poetic activity going on. I was rewarded with a PAD (Poem A Day) challenge. Robert Lee Brewer has decided to challenge readers to create a chapbook by writing a poem each day that focuses on your chosen theme. He will provide prompts for each day’s writing. Of course, this just seemed to be one of those things that falls into your lap, slaps you in the face, and yells “Hey stupid! Wake up; you wanted to write poetry, well, here’s your chance!”

Um, yes, I heard the call and I’ve decided to go for it. I made my theme “Herbs” and have written the first one. Robert refers to this poem as “The Hook” the one that draws the reader into the theme. I’ll probably be posting quite a few of my PAD poems throughout the month of November. That’s how long the challenge lasts. I hope you enjoy and I would very eagerly welcome any feedback from friends and/or critics.

I seem to have a serious problem coming up with decent names for my poems so this one is still unnamed. If anyone has a suggestion I wouldn’t mind considering it. I don’t know what it is about naming a poem. It’s just so hard for me; nothing ever seems good enough for it. I don’t know *shrug* So, without further ado here’s “The Hook”

Foods ring pungent in my watering mouth
fresh as melting sun and living fire.
Sick bodies are guided back to bloom or
granted merciful passage into summerlands.
Apparel liberated from a lackluster life
released into a world of effulgent hue.
Witness to the sight of flowing fields that dance a tempoed waltz in the wind
they sing in their garments - the bells of mother’s ball.
Bearing alms that are gathered by diverse desire
defenseless immolation scattered to aspirations of imagination.
Generations, heirloom spirit sprawls the boundless sphere,
antics of delicate stature camouflage wellborn privilege;
worshipped by some unnoticed by others
rooted in the soil of human animation.

The Mayan Prophecies

2008-10-29T17:44:00.003-04:00

I’ll be getting to my topic today in a rather round about way. Not that it makes it so different from other days; I just thought I would mention it. We (my family) have finally arrived in the 21st century; we now have cable TV for the first time. R has wanted it for a while. It didn’t really matter to me as I never watched TV anyway. The kids have wanted it, and now that we can afford it, we decided to go for it.

I have to admit, at this moment, that I have found myself mysteriously drawn to the History channels. We also have some nature and science channels that run a close second for me. So, yes, I have started to watch some TV for the first time in, oh, about 11 years. It’s the TV that brings me to my topic today regarding the book The Mayan Prophecies.

I was watching Ancient Discoveries on one of the History channels the other day. They were investigating the Mayan culture, their calendar, and the prophecies made by one of the known Mayan priests. The prophecies correlate with their calendar, which is amazingly accurate. The Mayan’s had a knowledge of time and astronomy that is unbelievable. It could be seriously argued that the Mayan’s knowledge of these topics actually surpasses our own modern day understanding. That said, if you get a chance to watch the program I would highly recommend that you do.

I noticed, while watching, that the program also had a lot of information that I recalled reading about in a book entitled The Mayan Prophecies by Adrian G. Gilbert. I read the book about, ironically, 11 years ago and I was impressed by the amount of technical information that was made available on Mayan society and their knowledge of science and mathematics. I would also recommend reading the book if you are at all interested in the topic.

According to both sources, it seems that one of the prophecies foretells the end of our age. Now, we’ve all heard the doomsayers and apocalyptic jargon that gets tossed around, but I think this information is worth examining further. The prophecy states that on December 21st (some say 22nd) of 2012 the end of the world (as we know it) will take place. Ouch! That doesn’t give us much time now, does it? But…this post is NOT about doomsday. It’s about the day after.

Here me out here. It’s not just the Mayans who have talked about the destruction of the world as we know it. This has been seen throughout history by many cultures and religions. The Mayans, just happen to have put a date on it. A date that, well if you read the book or watch the show, will seem quite impressively possible. The point here is this. All of these people have claimed it will be the close of the age, including The Bible, depending on the translation you read. It never states it will be the end of the world, that mankind will fail to exist, or that the world itself will fail to exist. It will, instead, be the dawning of a new age.

Now, I don’t know if catastrophe will proceed the new age or not. Heck, I’m just a simple blogger. I do know, that no matter what happens, mankind will be in a position to choose our path. The Mayans also have a prophecy for the new age. They say it will be one of peace, where mankind units, and where religion is not an issue. So, I guess amongst the meandering, my point is really this. I want people to focus on what the world could be. Let’s look at how our lives will be better if, say, we can stop global warming, overcome our need for fossil based fuels, stop the religious wars, feed people, and increase the quality of life. These may seem like dream filled goals here people, but can anyone of you truly claim that they are not worthwhile? With that in mind, and knowing that our ancestors believed that we could make it happen, I guess we’re left with the question…Are we going to make it happen?

Tomb Picture

Lid of Palenque

The Crystal Skull

And what would Halloween be without the picture of the cave spider inside the tomb?

Samhain AKA Halloween

2008-10-27T14:54:00.007-04:00

Samhain, pronounced [SAW-hin] is, of course, the original Halloween. Actually, the word itself is Celtic and means November. To the ancient Celts the day signified the beginning of the New Year. The night before the New Year was considered to be an opportune time to communicate with the gods because the veil between this world and the otherworld was at its thinnest. The thin veil, however, worked both ways. Not only did it allow the Celts to speak more easily with their gods, it also allowed beings from the otherworld to cross back over into this world. It was believed that the spirits of the people who had died that year would revisit this world on Samhain eve. To discourage the spirits from coming into the village proper, the Celts would build large bon fires and take offerings to the outskirts of town. They would place the food there in hopes of luring the spirits away.

The Romans considered Samhain sacred as well, however, they called it Pomona Day. To them it was a day of celebration for the end of the harvest. They gave thanks to their gods for their bounty and paid tribute so that the gifts of the harvest would be there again the following year. It was a holiday of tremendous merry making and joy.

Around 500 BC or so, the Romans made their way into the Celtic lands. War ensued and cultures clashed. In the end, the Romans and the Celts managed to combine the holiday traditions and melded beliefs from both cultures. Halloween, the term we know for the holiday, wasn’t actually given until many centuries later when Christianity was introduced to the Celtic lands.

When the Christian faith began to spread, the church found huge amounts of resistance to their pleas to give up the pagan holidays and traditions. They decided it would be more effectual to try and change these holidays into Christian celebrations. With that, they created All Saints Day; on the first of November the Catholic Church honors all of the saints who do not have their own holiday. The night before All Saint’s Day became All Hallows Eve to signify the holy evening. Over the years the term, through mutations of speech, became Halloween. Now, while the church has overtaken many, many pagan holidays, including Easter and Christmas (those are blog entries for another day), in this manner; Halloween just couldn’t be subdued. People enjoyed the celebration too much and the night has now become known to us as a day of spooky mischief making and treats. Yummy.

Somewhere along the line the idea of dressing in frightening costumes also came along. I believe the intent here was to scare off potential spirits that may have meant you harm. I’m not positive on this, but I think it may have come from the Spanish/Mexican influence stemming from their Day of the Dead (November 2nd). So, what are you going to be this year? I plan to hand out goodies to the kids and then sit around with the family telling ghost stories and watching scary movies. Apple bobbing and popcorn balls will most certainly make their appearance as well. America really is a melting pot of culture and our holiday celebrations attest to that fact. Happy Halloween!

Back to the Drawing Board

2008-10-19T13:22:00.004-04:00

Doctor’s, jeez. I wish they would make up their minds. I was sent to a specialist after being told that I had Rheumatoid Arthritis only to be told by the specialist that it may be something else. So, back to the drawing board, they still don’t know what’s wrong.

The doc said that while the one test came back positive for RA not all of my symptoms are matching up and a second more detailed test came back negative. She said that if it was RA I should already have nodules on my hands and I don’t. It seems that the majority of the joint problems I do have are in areas not commonly affected by RA. So…she thinks because the focus is primarily on my back, and hips/pelvis area that I may have Inflammatory Back Disease instead. Supposedly, it’s a disease that is under-diagnosed due to doctors not always recognizing symptoms. The actual non-layman term is Ankylosing Spondylitis and it does seem to be a better fit to the “symptoms” I’ve been having. Both RA and AS are inflammatory diseases, which explains why the symptoms are similar. I guess we’ll have to wait and see…again.

I’m tired of waiting, though, you know? This has been going on far too long. I really just want to know what the heck is happening to me. I have to go in for yet more testing on the 4th. I’m going to have to vote first, though, they said the sedative will make me groggy all day. I should probably just go and vote early like Charmi did, huh? I’m going to have to be sedated for the test. It’s only an MRI but it’s going to be rather extensive which means I’ll need to lie in one position, very still, for about an hour; and well…I can’t do that. Sitting, standing, lying down any which way you look at it I can’t be in one position more that about 10 minutes. I experience way too much pain and stiffness so I have to continually move around, shift my weight, and readjust. And yes, for anyone wondering; it makes it very difficult to sleep at night. In fact, I literally can’t stay in bed more than about 6 hours at a time. I have to get up and move around for a while and I wake up many, many times throughout the night changing positions and sometimes just getting up to walk around.

Crying out loud, I sound like a whinny thing. But, I figured since I had made the previous post after receiving word on the RA that I should make this one too. I know that several of you who read this blog know me, and care about me. Thank you, buy the way. I just want to make sure that you’re in the know and that all the facts are right. I guess I’ll let you know what I know when I know it. Until then, back to life as usual.

Life Goes On

2008-10-12T10:50:00.008-04:00

So I haven’t written again for a while, I know. I had some issues, man. Seriously. Some of you know that I’ve had some health concerns going on for a while now. Well, I’ve gotten new word on my condition. I’ve known for some time that I have Degenerative Disk Disease, that’s why I have so much difficulty with my back and all that lovely sciatic nerve pain. I’ve also been having a lot of other stuff going on too.

Basically, because I haven’t had insurance I’ve been unable to find out for sure what the deal was. I lost my insurance about two years ago. My doctor, at that time, suspected that I had either Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis due to the many symptoms I had been displaying. I lost my insurance just before we were able to do the blood work to provide the final diagnosis. That means I’ve gone for the last two years, now, still having to deal with the crap feeling but not knowing what it is or having any way to treat it.

So, enter, HIP, the Healthy Indiana Plan it’s insurance provided by the state for people who do not have insurance due to either their financial status or because their employer does not offer it. Any way, I qualified and now I have insurance. This is a good thing and on a side note I feel I need to say (even though it makes me cringe) that Gov. Daniels did a good thing here with the program. So, insurance. That means I have been able to go to a doctor again. And I did.

I had the blood work done and now we know that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. This has brought on a lot of mixed feelings for me. On the one hand, it was suspected, so it’s not exactly a surprise, and yet, it still feels surreal. It explains a heck of a lot, like the many, many attacks of pleurisy and the fact that some days I’m literally too sore to walk, or why I can’t grasp objects sometimes. The explanation is there and on a very positive note, now that we know what it is, I can begin treatment.

The way I understand it I have a decent chance of feeling much better once the treatment begins. That would be a welcome relief. I’m pretty tired of feeling crappy all the time, you know? I go to a specialist Friday and then we’ll see how things go. Yet, amidst the good stuff there’s still this lingering feeling of doom. I guess it’s having one’s fears confirmed or something. Maybe it’s just making me feel old. I don’t know. Like I said before, surreal pretty much sums it up. So I find myself caught up with these mixed feelings of hope and depression. I think I need some time to sort it all out. I’m really, really hoping the treatment will make me feel more human again, but after living in this much pain for the last several years I find myself afraid to hope too much. I guess we’ll just have to see. So, there you have it. My update on me. Sorry the post wasn’t more upbeat but…yeah, well, f*ck it. That’s life.

Earth Series – Deserts

2008-09-25T13:45:00.015-04:00

Alright, today’s Earth Series…The Desert. What’s to know? They’re dry, sandy places uninhabitable by living creatures, right? Of course you know that’s wrong. I say this because I trust you, my readers, to know better. But…did you know that they come in second, only to rainforests, for diversity of species? Among those species is us, the human being. While huge portions of desert are unoccupied by people there are those areas that have remained inhabited for tens of thousands of years. Another species that exists there, termites. These guys (and gals) play a pivotal role in a desert ecosystem. The air is too dry to support plant and wood eating fungi so the termites are the source of recycling, without them the ecosystem would collapse.

The deserts of the world cover about 1/3 of its surface. They receive somewhere between 0 and 10 inches of rain per year. To put that into perspective, that’s how much rain we received here in South Bend within a 24 hour period after Ike blew its aftermath this way. None of the deserts on the face of the earth are completely lifeless, but there are areas within some deserts that are unable to support life. Nonetheless, life in a desert can be surprisingly evident. In most deserts many animals, reptiles, and insects are nocturnal due to the extreme heat and radiation of the daytime temperatures. The nighttime temperatures fall quickly. The lack of clouds allows the heat of the day to escape into the atmosphere. In the Sahara the temps can drop by 30 degrees. Some of the desert animals include species of fox, toads, scorpions, lizards, and bees. The Sahara even supports life for desert elephants and lions. They cannot survive in the large size herds and prides of the savannah, and they need to travel great distances to find food, but they are present.

So, speaking of the Sahara, it is the size of the United States. It is the world’s biggest source of sand and dust. Sandstorms, the size of Britain, occur without warning and may last for days. Single humped camels (Dromedaries) weather the storms there with little effort. As sands are blown around sand dunes are born. In the midst of these hazardous, life threatening conditions, though, sanctuary is sometimes found in the form of an oasis. These fountains of life exist where the ground water table is very close to the surface and water rises either in springs or is trapped in mountain hallows.

Getting back to the sand dunes here, some of the world’s largest are found in the Namibia desert. They can be as tall as 1,000 feet; grains of sand are blown up the flanks and across the crests of the ridges which means that only the tops of the dunes move. The main body of the dunes in Namibia has not shifted for 5,000 years. As the wind blows across the desert rocks, it carries sand which is continuously eroding the rock slowly turning it to more sand.

The Australian desert has some of the hottest temperatures on earth. Every hour of the day the temperature rises 5 degrees centigrade reaching 70 degrees centigrade (158 degrees Fahrenheit) in the full sun.

The Atacama in Chile is the driest desert on earth; some parts of it haven’t seen rain for 50 years. Still, there is life here. South American camels (Guanacos) survive by eating cactus flowers which provides them with a source of water. But, how do the cacti survive without rain? Hot winds deprive the land of moisture but there is a cold sea current that runs parallel to the land. The cold water cools the air above and fog is made. The wind sweeps the fog inland blanketing the cacti with dew. Many various creatures are dependant on this, the only, source of water in an otherwise dry land. Birds drink the dew drops refreshing and rehydrating themselves. As the winds move inland, though, the air becomes too dry to condense and so there is only a small strip of the Atacama that can support life. Without the fog this portion of the desert would also be uninhabitable.

The Sonoran Desert in Arizona sees more moisture. It receives infrequent and unpredictable rainfalls. Everything there must be ready to take advantage of it. Giant Saguaros, one of the largest cacti, use their large, shallow root systems to take up the water. The pleats on their trunks expand quickly and can store up to five tons of water. Woodpeckers nest in the trunks and the blooms of the saguaros provide food for migrating bats that would not be able to make it across the desert otherwise. BTW – many bats are now endangered throughout the world, and in our own back yard, including the Indiana bat. - This desert is home to some 3,000 plant species, 1,200 bee species, and more than 550 vertebrae species.

Not all deserts are hot, the Gobi receives snow fall instead of rain. The range of temperature here makes this one of the harshest environments on the planet. The snow in the Gobi never melts, the air is too cold and dry and the suns rays evaporate it before it has the chance to become liquid. The snow is the only source of water in the Gobi. It is also home to Bactrian camels (two humps) one of the rarest animals on earth.

Many deserts receive water from distant sources like mountains. The water from these places may run for a hundred miles or more causing a flash flood. It’s not called a flash flood due to an extreme amount of water, but rather because it only lasts for a flash. The water appears and then disappears in as little as the course of a day and only happens once, maybe twice a year. With the flood comes a renewal of vegetation that can support more life in turn. Some seeds may lie dormant in the soil for over 30 years, waiting for this moment. Some massive blooms occur as rarely as one time per century. The greenery will be short lived but it aids in the overall survival of all that inhabit the desert areas.

Earth Series – Rain Forests

2008-09-22T16:24:00.031-04:00

The rainforest in Peru

So, the earth series is continuing. I’m thinking I’ll handle some of the bigger better known ecosystems first and then delve into some of the smaller ones on a more intermittent basis. I hope that suits everyone. As much as I adore the earth I never intended this Blog to be only an earth conservation type work. That said, I’ve been toying with the idea of introducing some economics to the Blog as well. Given the current situation in the country and the world today I think it’s certainly worth taking a closer look at. Today, however, it’s the earth’s rainforests.

This remarkable ecosystem traverses the equator. There are rainforests in Central and South America, Africa, Southern Asia, and Australia. The spread sounds bigger than it is, though, the rainforests of the earth actually only take up about 6% of the planets space. Now, here’s the big. Even though they make up only 6% of the earth they hold over 50% of the entire planet’s species of plants and animals. Devastation of these areas has an enormous impact on the entire world’s populations. Each individual rainforest is home to thousands of species that exist only in those specific environments. In fact, in Australia’s rainforest over 80% of all the species there exist only there, they can be found no where else on the planet.

Some of the characteristics that define a rainforest include; climate, precipitation, canopy structure, and complex symbiotic relationships. The latter is when you have two species that work together to benefit one another. For example, you may have a species of ant that lives exclusively in a specific plant. The plant provides the housing necessary for the ants, and in return, the ants defend the plant from other would be preying insects. If one disappears they both disappear. When you have large populations of symbiotic species in a limited area and you destroy that area the species will become extinct.

So why else are the rainforests important besides the fact that out of all of those unique species 1 of every 4 provides medicine of one kind or another? We already know from yesterday’s post that despite the vast number of trees present in the rainforests it is actually the ocean’s algae that provide the planet with its primary source of oxygen. So, what else could it be? There is also the idea of water, hello people, rain. Did you know that the trees of the rainforest are what create the
conditions
for the high
humidity
within
the
rainforests?
That humidity builds and causes rain which in turn feeds the planet’s hydrologic cycle (the water cycle). Rainforests receive anywhere from 80 – 430 inches of rain each year. That water is responsible for creating moisture in our atmosphere. When the forests are cut down, less moisture is replaced into the atmosphere, which means less rain, which means more droughts. Seeing the connection here?

Well, now we know…extinction bad, drought bad, no medicine also bad…rainforests good. I think I’ll close out today’s blog with a few pictures of plant and animal species that live in the rainforests. Until later then, enjoy.

The Jaguar of Belize - Endangered

The Tomato frog of Madagascar

The Praying mantis of Madagascar

Bromeliads - One bromeliad was found to contain several small beetles, crane flies, earwigs, a frog, a cockroach, spiders, fly larvae, a millipede, a scorpion, woodlice and an earthworm!

The Green bush viper

The Asian pied hornbill

The African forest elephant

Venus fly trap

Dragonfly - Recently scientists have discovered that dragonflies migrate like birds.

The Beetle - More than 450,000 species of Beetles exist throughout the world

Orchids – There are over 20,000 known species

Earth

2008-09-21T15:56:00.023-04:00

As many of you know I’m a rather adamant planet conservationist. I say planet, because I believe it is vitally important to preserve life on all levels. This includes not only the beautiful and majestic large animals of popular appeal, such as the whales, the tigers, and the polar bears. It also includes our vital sub-ecosystems, the insects and plants that drive those systems, and it extends to human life as well. Yes, we too are extremely important when it comes to conservation. Our development and population growth is never going to stop unless mankind is wiped from the earth by some apocalyptic event. Now, since that may, or probably may not, ever happen, who knows, I believe it’s a very big deal for us to learn to live effectively on our planet. That means looking out for ALL of the species on the planet. In light of this I’ve decided to post a series of entries dedicated to the earth.

In this day and age we are facing mass extinctions that haven’t been seen since the time of the dinosaur. Over 1/3 of our world’s species of frogs has gone extinct within the last decade. Most people know about the plight of the polar bear and rain forest. Did you also know that the arctic forest is now being threatened and that it produces so much oxygen that it can change
the

composition of the atmosphere? Global warming is a another serious issue that can no longer be avoided. To the skeptics, I say, recheck your facts. Scientists have been able to collect and analyze information regarding global warming in a manner and quantity that they were unable to do just 20 years ago. If that’s not enough for you…look at your own back yard. How many people have witnessed spring flowering trees blooming in the fall? I know I have. How many of you gardeners have been able to plant earlier and later than normal? Anyone whose livelihood is dependent on the earth through farming could easily tell you of the changes they have witnessed. But these posts are not about lecturing on global warming. It’s about opening up people’s minds to the knowledge of the world around them. It is only by experiencing the world that one can develop a connection with it and while reading about it and looking at pictures may be a poor substitute for actually touching and seeing it first hand, it’s better than nothing.

So, let’s begin with the poles. There are two of them. Yeah, yeah I know, you probably already knew that. The arctic (that’s the northern pole) supports such a vast quantity of wildlife that it’s practically incomprehensible. Over two million caribou travel over 2000 miles each year in the search for new grazing fields. That alone, can be astonishing but it’s only a minute portion of the land and sea animals dependent on this extremely fragile ecosystem. Male polar bears need the ice intact to be able to hunt. So, because the ice is retreating earlier each year the bears must go for longer and longer periods, sometimes 5 months or more without a single meal. Starvation is a serious possibility. Did I mention the trees? The conifers in the arctic support a species of bird that is specifically tailored to extract the seeds from the pine cones and survive the frigid temperatures of the north. I wonder how successful those conifers would be at repopulating themselves if the birds disappeared. Then, of course, I have to ask what would become of the rest of the planet if those trees disappeared?

The humpback whale, believe it or not, has not been saved. It is still being threatened even 40+ years after the “Save the Whales” campaign was started. This is primarily due to loopholes in the laws which are being exploited and so their numbers continue to decline. The humpback whales rely on the entire ocean as both their breeding and feeding grounds. Both of the poles offer breeding areas as well as feeding during given times of the year. The females use the tropical waters near the equator as baby nurseries to have and raise their calves. The female humpback whale gives birth in the tropics and then lives off of her fat reserves for 8 months before returning to the polar waters to feed. The entire time she is in the tropical waters she is nursing her calf; she will be almost to the point of starvation when she and her calf begin the long journey back. The trip through the ocean’s waters will be around 5,000 miles. Once she makes it back to the colder waters she will need to consume about three tons of krill every day while she’s there.

The northern polar waters go through an algae bloom each year during the brief spring/summer season. All life in the poles is dependent on the precise timing of this seasonal change because the change is so rapid. If the algae fail to bloom the entire ecosystem collapses. Everything from krill to seal to whale runs the risk of starvation. Algae, one of the smallest living organisms on the face of the planet are also vital to us. Did you know that the ocean’s algae create ¾ of our oxygen? The life cycle goes on and on and affects all the life on the planet. The poles are some of the furthest and most isolated of ecosystems on the planet, but carry a great deal of weight when it comes to our planet’s well being. In my upcoming posts I plan to take a look at some of our world’s other ecosystems, stay tuned.

Birdy Birdy In The Sky

2008-09-17T17:44:00.012-04:00

So, I wasn’t sure what to write about today. I’m in kind of a hurry. Then I saw some bird pictures in my email and I thought, “Gee, I haven’t talked about birds lately.” So, I deided to give a quick shpeel on my backyard birdies and then post the pics that inspired me today.

I’ve had several hummingbirds frequenting the feeder right outside my kitchen window. It’s very cool to watch them so upclose. The kids all get very excited, even the older ones, when they see them. It’s always, “Look! Hummingbird(s) at the feeder.” They really are something else. They’re so small and yet, you can hear the loudest sound coming from them as their wings flutter, it sounds like a hundred bees all buzzing at once. They also chirp. Did you know that? I didn’t realize they did but they do. It’s just a quick “chirp” that they repeat it a few times while they’re there. They move off to a sunflower or the electric line and perch for a bit and then they come back for more.

I read an interesting fact about Humming Birds not too long age. It seems that their metabolism is so high they will starve to death in a matter of a few hours if they are not almost continuously feeding. I thought that was interesting. So, with that said…on to the pics.

Writing, Writing, and Writing. Did I Mention Writing?

2008-09-16T20:53:00.003-04:00

Writing, writing, and more writing. I’ve been a busy little beaver over the last few days. Of course, I’m working on my blog entries but I’ve also been working on a new book. (Since the other three I had going were lost due to screwed up life situations) I have the first chapter rough draft finished. I wrote out the plot lines and a thirty chapter outline. I also wrote another article for InMichiana’s November issue. I’ll have an article in the October issue too when it’s released.

I still have an article to write for Inside Granger, but I have a few weeks yet before the deadline. I’ll begin making my contacts for that tomorrow. I figure I’ve written somewhere in the neighborhood of 7 to 10 thousand words over the last couple of days. Is that a lot? It feels like a lot. My fingers are sore. So, I think I’m going to take a break for the remainder of the evening and curl up with a good book.

I’m currently reading “Breaking Dawn” by Stephenie Meyer. It’s the fourth (last) book in her “Twilight” saga. The other two books are “New Moon” and “Eclipse”. I have really enjoyed all of them so far. I’m about 1/3 of the way through this last one and liking it as well as the others. “Twilight” is being made (has been made) into a movie and will be coming out in theatres in November. Yes, I have plans to see it. If you haven’t read it give it a shot. And now, off to the book.

Tagged...tagged like mice...rats

2008-09-15T19:43:00.014-04:00

Tagged by Charmi

Six Unspectacular Things About Maeve

1. I love all things Victorian. That includes clothing, home décor, homes, fabric, gardens, books, politics of their era, food, science…you name it. If I had the means I would live in an old Victorian manor complete with a widow walk and the full Victorian décor. Ironically, I own practically nothing that is Victorian.

2. When I was six years old I brought home a huge bouquet of flowers, maybe 70 or 80. My mother asked me where I got them all and I told her Peter G. and Steven A. (both my age) gave them to me. She said “Oh, that was nice of them” and put them in water. What never came up was the fact that I had given each of them a kiss for every flower.

3. I love playing RPGs, role playing games, which many of you already know. I like to go all out for the games making it a special evening for everyone. So, I normally cook a nice dinner (last game was meatloaf, spiced potatoes, corn, with chocolate birthday cake and chocolate ice cream for dessert) and then set out yummy munchies snacks for all. We eat, munch, play and laugh all night.

4. I like crafting of all kinds. I sew, garden, crochet, knit and I’m constantly learning new things. My current interest is decoupage and basket decorating. I plan on learning how to do hat decorating and wreath making. I’m sure I’ll want to pick up other things as well. I find, though, that because I’m so easily drawn to new interests that I leave many projects half finished.

5. I had Coco Crunchies for breakfast this morning after I took two of the kids to their bus stop and walked around the block, and fed the birds. I do this every morning with the exception of weekends (no need for the bus stop) and my breakfast usually changes every day. Sometimes it’s eggs, sometimes oatmeal, sometimes toast.

6. One of my cats has a tendency to cling to my shoulder as if she was hanging onto a tree limb by only her front paws. She does this whether I’m sitting, standing or lying down. It’s as if she's fighting an invisible person who is trying to pry her away from me. She does this so often that my left shoulder blade and shoulder have tiny scars all over them and they always have fresh scratches. She particularly likes to cling when I’m at my computer working.

Meme terms & conditions!
1. link the person who tagged you: Charmi (see above)
2. mention the rules on your blog: (these are them)
3. list 6 unspectacular things about you: (see above)
4. tag 6 other bloggers by linking them:

Greg
Naoko
David
Sally
Mr. Spectacular
And last but certainly not least (although he's already been tagged by Charmi)
The Big Bad (Poetry) Wolf

Vampire Update

2008-09-14T22:30:00.003-04:00

Salright, we played last night. It was good. I went out hunting for the first time; it went well. In other words I didn’t kill my prey and I also made my willpower roll which kept me from frenzying. All in all it was good.

On a slightly side note. We realized, as an uptight human lawyer bitch who graduated from Yale by age 20 and was almost a Jr. Partner in her law firm by age 26, that I had never had the deflowering moment take place. What might this mean for a single, pretty yet uppity, vampire lawyer? Simply this, that due to my restorative healing powers even if (when) I lose my virginity by the next day I’ll be a virgin again. Yes, my hymen will grow back now, each and every time, I have a sexual encounter of the intercourse kind. And, yes, we tried it out (role playing people, just make believe…jeez, get your heads out of the gutter).

Harper, the vampire who has been teaching me to hunt, took the liberty of taking me to this well…shall we say…an underground establishment where I was able to select my deflowerer from a fair sized selection of willing young men show chained with golden chains to the wall. Harper actually selected the one for me since I couldn’t decide. By the way, Harper is an NPC, she works at Lady Imogen’s Burlesque show. She’s very, how shall I put this, uninhibited. So, yeah…I’m forever a virgin.

Then the story shifted a bit and I had to go hunt down a clue at an abandoned insane asylum with the other newbie vamps. It was a wicked thing. The whole situation, it was wicked. We ended up falling through a burnt out floor. Everyone but me went through this tunnel like thing they found to look for what we came for. I on the hand took a different path. When we entered the hospital we came across many, many, and I do mean, many rats. They all watched us very closely and moved and did things that just weren’t normal. It gave us the idea that they were being controlled by someone. Then music began to play, no one seemed particularly interested in this which is why they went their way and I went mine. You see, it occurred to me that we’re in an ABANDONED building, no electricity people. Where was the music coming from? I ended up following several extension cords back to our car to find them connected to a power cell and our car battery. Someone was messing with us.

I saw some lights on the second floor and went to investigate. It turned out the perpetrator had attached flashlights to several cats, yes cats. This quickly became a problem for me, as I had previously taken a particular flaw. (Flaws allow you to get benefits in other areas by taking them) My flaw, a horrible, horrible, phobia of, yes, cats. So, of course failing my willpower roll, I went screaming and running away in a fox frenzy of panic. I never really did find out who the perp was. My companions did, however, but that’s out of game knowledge to me, and so I can’t use it. And that’s basically where we’re at. More fun to come I know it. Out of game knowledge, between you and me, the perp is a Maulkavian vampire; they’re the crazy ones and man oh man she’s playing the role well. Fun, fun, fun….yippy, Vampire!

It’s Hard Drive City

2008-09-12T12:24:00.004-04:00

Yeah! I’m finally up and running again. It took forever but in the end I got the new hard drive and have basically reinstalled everything I need. I managed to pull up a few things that I had posted on various websites that contained some of the work I had lost when the old drive was torn so suddenly from its young life. So, even though it’s no where close to what I had, it’s not completely over.

I still want to post some pics of the aprons and clothes that I’ve been working on. I haven’t looked into it too far, but I think I may have to buy a cord before I can download the pics from my phone to my computer. Is anyone out there cell phone proficient? Oh, and willing to help? My cell phone is very new to me. The last time I had one it was like 1997 or something so…I’ve been a bit out of touch. I think I may be able to email them to myself if nothing else but I haven’t really explored that possibility yet. I think I would prefer a quick and painless method if possible.

Speaking of pics…I should take some of the garden out back. I recently added a new plot to the yard. This is strictly a show garden, no veggies, well…no edible veggies, ok…maybe there will “technically” be something there that can be eaten but…the main purpose of this spot is for aesthetic pleasure not practical food supply. On that note; I planted some hardy mums (red & orange), some flowering kale, and some black arugula (if I remember correctly). There was already a small lilac bush beginning to grow in the same area. I’m planning on adding some bulbs around the end of the month, maybe some lilies and tulips. I’m not 100% sure yet. Hopefully the spot will be fairly carefree so that when we move the next people won’t have to mess with it if they don’t want to.

I’ve gotten the birds and squirrels so used to a steady food supply that I’m afraid when we move they’ll have trouble fending for themselves so…I’m trying to put some shrubs and trees in the ground that will offer both food and shelter should the next people not offer the buffet they have grown accustomed to. I’ll be adding Bittersweet to the new plot, I know that. I’ve planted some flowering crabapples, a flowering dogwood, and a couple of hawthorns. I think they’ll help. We don’t have any solid plans, yet, regarding a move but we do know one will be coming within the next three years sometime. It could possibly be as soon as next year depending on children’s school situations, R’s job, and the, “I can’t take living in the city any longer” factor. Until then, I’m trying to plan ahead. Yes, I’m consumed by the thought of the innocent little birdies going hungry, laugh if you must.

On that note, I shall call it a day for today. I look forward to being able to write again on a more regular schedule so it would be nice to see all of your smiling web addys show up on my blog log ;-) on a regular basis as well…no hint there…hint, hint…hint.

Temperament

2008-08-24T16:16:00.003-04:00

I think that I’ve learned quite bit about my temperament here lately. It seems that when people are tested they can either learn from the experience or they can choose to stew over it and build up that lovely stress maker, resentment. I try to be a learner; sometimes it’s easier than other times. Lately it seems that the tests have been frequent and well…irritating, as tests may tend to be. There is a lot going on in my life right now, as is the case with most people. Of course, it all boils down to how we handle those situations. Are we learners or resenters?

I figure that I’m one step ahead of the tests, though, since I realize that they’re there. You know what I mean? I think that if a person is capable of recognizing the areas or events in their life that pose the biggest stress points, then they are more likely to be able to deal with them. This, of course, sounds obvious; but I think sometimes it is painfully oblivious to people when we’re in the thick of things. I know that I need to take time to evaluate my life from time to time. This means taking an honest look at what is happening. This does not mean taking a negative view on life. It’s not right to look at all the bad and forget the good. An honest “moral” inventory, means also allowing yourself to see the good and to give appropriate credit where credit is due.

Now, I have no intention of airing my dirty laundry or patting myself on the back here. Suffice to say, that we all go through things, and I feel that we all could benefit by taking the time to reflect on our lives, the situations that have brought us to our current point and whether or not we’re happy with it. If we’re happy, then we should understand how we got here so the positive can be repeated. If we’re not too happy with a particular situation then we need to decide the best course of action for correcting the problem in a manner that will have a more positive outcome for all parties involved.

For me, I find that I reflect best if I engage in a creative individual activity. I tend to zone out in the garden, or involve myself in a sewing project. These activities allow me to empty my mind from the squirrel cage mentality that usually drives my thoughts. I find a peaceful, tranquil even, retreat to where my mind empties, as it were, and only the breath remains. It’s meditative and it’s the point, for me, in which I become able to assess my life honestly. I can be upfront with myself and look at things that are bothering me and see the part I played in the problem. Now, while I’m not able to change the actions, or reactions, of others; I am able to change mine. Therefore, if I truly (honestly) understand the role that I played; I can then claim the power of changing the situation, because once I change my role I have introduced a new variable into the equation and the odds of a different outcome increase.

So, where is all of this taking us? Who knows? I mean really. I know that I’m a better person for finding a way to reflect and assess, and that’s about as far as I have the power to take it; the rest is in anyone’s court. But, the end result….and I know you’re expecting some big philosophical answer here, but that won’t happen because it’s no longer in my court….is aprons; yes I said aprons. I sewed four of them here lately, and a new skirt as well. I went on a meditation binge as it were. In the end, I feel more enlightened, more relaxed, more self assured, more confident, and overall better. I’ve taken some pics of them and I’m going to try to get them up on the blog within the next day or two. We’ll see; I’m not sure I have all of the necessary equipment, hopefully I do. If so, you should see them soon.

Comcast is the Devil...and...It's Not My Fault

2008-08-18T13:14:00.003-04:00

K…this latest gap in writing really isn’t my fault, I swear. It has been bizzaro world around here lately. Do you remember when my hard drive failed? Well, apparently that was just the beginning of our hardware and networking problems.

A short time ago R’s hard drive crashed as well, and yes, we lost what was on his drive too. I’m over it people; I just don’t care anymore. Perhaps it’s fate calling and telling me that what I write is not intended to be forever. Maybe I need to work on accepting the thought of revision more, or maybe I just need to, oh I don’t know, back things up!

What was really the kicker, though? Comcast! Can you say, “Oh My God! What an Unethical company”? Seriously, I have never dealt with a company who is so terrible with its customer service and so very unethical, if not outright, illegal. Folks, if you have a choice, stay away from them. Here’s what happened.

Around six months ago we switched to Comcast for our Internet and phone service. The idea was that we would have better connectivity so that R and sons could play their MMOs together. Well, we had one problem after another. We were constantly losing our connection; I’m talking at least two times a week. This would require our entire home network to be shut down and rebooted a tedious task, and one that under the proper administration of Comcast should have been unnecessary. So, we ended up having a tech come out twice to try and correct the problem, without success. We finally decided that we should purchase a new router, so we went with a D-Link. Comcast doesn’t support this type of router via their tech support. That in itself would have been ok, but…we were having difficulty getting through to the net. The router was showing that it was working ok, everything seemed to be running and connected, the network showed an established Internet connection, but we couldn’t access the Internet. So, we called Comcast.

Here’s where it gets good folks. The first time we called we were put on hold for 40 minutes just to have the tech get shitty with us and hang up on us. R was trying to explain what was going on, what we had done, but the tech kept interrupting him so R finally said to him, “look, I’m trying to explain to you what’s going on so will you please stop talking?” The tech replied, “sure” and then hung up. Next tech please….we call back, another marathon hold session. When we get through the tech says, “Oh, the problem is that your modem isn’t set up for Internet access, we have it set to phone access only. Let me just flip a switch here on this end and you should be fine. Now, we’ll be disconnected when this happens so I’ll call you right back, ok?” R says, fine and he hangs up. Well, we wait for about 30 minutes, no phone call. R checks the Internet and the connection is completely gone, vanished, so we call back. R gets a hold of yet another tech and tells this one what happened. He explains that the tech was supposed to switch something over on that end and call us back, and that not only did we not hear from him our service was completely disrupted now. (I need to clarify that prior to this, because the D-Link wasn’t working we had at least reconnected the original router and had Internet access again). Anyway, here we are without any Internet now and guess what? The tech says that the last tech cleared our account. “What does that I mean?” R asked. She said it meant that our account was no longer valid and we wouldn’t have any service until a tech came out and set us up as if we were a new account. Of course, we were livid and not understanding why she couldn’t just simply flip the switch in the other direction and turn us back on. So…yes, they screwed us and left us with no service what so ever. That’s when R said, F*** this and a few other choice phrases and asked me to call AT&T. So I did and we switched over.

The story doesn’t end there, though. Here comes the unethical (illegal) stuff. I called to discontinue our service with Comcast. When I got through I stated that I wished to end the service, I was put on hold for 30 minutes while I was “transferred” to a different department. At that point, I was finally able to speak to someone and when I told her that I wanted to disconnect the service and why I was so unhappy with them, guess what…she hung up on me…yes…oh yes she did…and BTW I was not rude with her. So…I have to go through the whole process again. When I finally get through I’m told that it is Comcast “policy” not to end service until the bill is paid in full. So I said, “Well. R doesn’t get paid until the 15th and it’s only the 6th, am to understand that not only are we being billed for the days where we had no service due to Comcast’s inadequacy, we are also going to be billed for a service we no longer want or are receiving because our pay cycle doesn’t coincide with our desire to end this service?” She replied, “Well, we won’t turn the service off until the bill is paid, so technically you will still be receiving the service. We’ll disconnect the service only after we have received payment.” And folks, that was pretty much the end of it. She wouldn’t budge and even though we had AT&T set up and running they refused to disconnect our service and are charging us for it.

My advice…stay away…far away from Comcast!!!

R’s hard drive is still not fixed, my hard drive is still not fixed, but we do have Internet access again. Although, the speed is really not what we need. Anyway, I’m currently using R’s laptop to Blog and such, but it’s not very convenient. Hopefully my system will be up and running again before too long. Until then, though, posts may be a bit intermittent. Bear with me please. And stay away from the Devil Corporation!!!!

Vampire RPG

2008-08-03T11:25:00.006-04:00

We had our first Vampire game last night, and let me say, I was not disappointed in the least. It was a load of fun and N ran it like a pro. Yes, N agreed to run a game for us.

The setting is modern day Chicago. We were all killed last night in a BDSM club, very interesting time there I tell ya. Basically, we were all there as observers in the club when a massacre took place. Only six of us survived due to being embraced by the attackers; we were all then abandoned. The club, itself, was being run by the Toreador Primogen who took pity on us, and instead of killing us outright she arranged for shelter and blood. She will now have to be responsible for our behaviors until we are old enough to be turned out on our own.

We ended up with a good mix of clans in the group. All of the Camarilla clans, with the exception of the Nosfurotu, are represented. My character is a Ventrue named Lily. If you’re familiar with the show Angel, an offshoot of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, then think Lilah Morgan. I modeled my character after her. I’m a 26 year old, brunette, corporate lawyer with a bitch attitude. [Lilah Pic] So far, it’s working out well.

The other characters include a Malkavian who in his human life was a famous rock star; a Russian tourist who in his human life was a sort of street thug and has now been turned into a Toreador; talk about messed up. I think the sire of these two guys got things a bit backwards. For anyone who is unfamiliar with the clans the Toreadors are the artists and the Malkavians, well, they’re all insane. BTW, the Ventrue are the business minded clan who brought the Camarilla together and just so happens to have a great deal of sway over the sect. Our other group members are a 4 foot 2 inch Italian mob wanna be who is now a Gangrel and a bald headed short female occult bookstore owner who is now a Tremere. The other two are both Brujah. R’s cousin, who has much more experience with the game than the rest of us, is playing a Brujah Neonate while the rest of us are fledglings. He is helping the Toreador Primogen by guiding us and teaching us in the ways of the vampire.

Other than N and R’s cousin, who are both experienced with the game, I have some experience (I’ve played about 4 or 5 one night games) and the rest of the group is new to the game. So, many of us have no real idea yet as to what the game is going to entail. Which is a good reason for us all coming in as fledglings, think baby vampires. The Neonate is a bit older, but nowhere near the top of the ladder. Usually, but not always, a Primogen is the eldest member of the clan. So there we are, and there you have it. The game has begun. I look forward to giving you more updates and hopefully amassing tons of wealth and prestige for my character along the way.

Misha Gordin

2008-07-23T20:06:00.018-04:00

You know, sometimes when I’m looking for topics and/or ideas to write about, I draw a complete blank. I just can’t seem to find anything in my brain at the moment worth putting on paper. What does that suggest, I wonder?

At any rate…when that happens, and I’m still determined to write anyway, many times I’ll turn to the internet. Who says it’s just for porn? * wink * Seriously though. I’ll go to Google and type in a word that happens to come to mind and then see what pops up. (That’s how I got the asylum photos and topic). Sometimes I’ll click on the images tab and start looking through them. I do this and I wait for something interesting to hit me. I know it when I see it, just as most anyone would, I think.

Then, when it hits, the ideas follow and I know I have something worth the paper and the effort. Tonight’s post is a prefect example of this. The word was “inspiration” the images are those of one Misha Gordin. I found this work to be absolutely beautiful and I would so recommend checking out the site. I had never heard of Misha before this, but you can bet that I’ll never forget. Plus, I found something to write about. I want to include some pictures off of Misha’s website as a teaser for people. Check it out.

“The Dark Knight”

2008-07-21T20:32:00.003-04:00

Let me just say that this movie rocks! I really enjoyed it. R took me, his brother and sister-in-law out for dinner and a movie last night. Yes, the movie was The Dark Knight, the new Batman flick. It was very well done. The special effects were awesome and the story was great as well.

There was actually a spot in the movie where I, like, jumped. It scared me. I think it’s done well enough that even people who aren’t crazy about the whole superhero gig would still appreciate it. Yes, if you’re preferred movie type is a long drawn out romance or drama you would most likely not share my enthusiasm. But…for those people who enjoy even a little action in their lives, then this could be the movie for you.

Alright, I’m beginning to feel like an advertisement but I decided to write about the movie today and that’s what I’m going to do. Christian Bale played a convincing Batman, I think he’s grown into the role. His mouth just isn’t a Val Kilmer mouth in the suit but…his performance soon overtook any prejudice that I may have been holding onto. Michael Caine’s portrayal of Alfred made me feel all warm and cozy. He was like a strong father figure, which, I suppose is what he was going for.

Heath Ledger, well damn, I’m thinking he deserves a paragraph of his own. His performance as the Joker was absolutely (in R’s word) “disturbing”. I was totally consumed by this villainous mind. He played the part hard and put it up wet. It is an extreme shame that he is no longer with us. I got the “creeps” so many times during this movie when it came to the Joker’s actions and Ledger was the phenomenal reason why. He had this part down and his acting ability shone threw like the sun in a mirrored hall.

Aaron Eckhart played the good guy/bad guy scenario impeccably. He had the good guy role down so well that when he turned it really was heartbreaking. Gary Oldman and Morgon Freeman both played their roles with equal professionalism and believability, and let’s face it, even though he’s a bit older, Freeman has that sexy something about him that draws in the fans. Maggie Gyllenhaal as a leading lady was fantastic; personally, I think she should be taking up more of the spotlight in future productions. She seems too strong not to have the lead role in a picture.

So there you have it, my take on The Dark Knight. I would highly recommend that you see this movie in the theatre. Viewing it at home on DVD just wouldn’t be the same. Plan a night out with your favorite honey or your best bud, but go see it. I don’t think you’ll be sorry.

Vampire – The Masquerade

2008-07-20T11:20:00.004-04:00

It seems that I’ve been on this sort of “goth” information kick lately so…before I go on let me clarify something here. While many goths do appreciate the vampire, and the vampire image, it does not mean that every goth you meet has some type of unhealthy obsession over them. This post is actually discussing a role playing game and not a goth thing so…

Since R is not going to be able to run our D&D game for a longggg while; N has agreed to run a Vampire game! Yippie! I have been trying to play Vampire-The Masquerade for years now, however, each time I get ready to play we manage to get one, maybe two, games in and then something happens and the game gets canceled. It’s been very frustrating, especially after one spends so much time developing a character and a background for that character.

I have hope for this game, though. We have a stable group that has been playing together for years now and though we have always done D&D in the past, everyone is on board with the Vampire game. I think this will go well. I know N will bring in some awesome ideas, she has the best imagination and she knows the game well. Not too many people in the group have played Vampire before but at least they’re excited about it and they’re wanting to learn it.

I have no idea, yet, what the setting will be. It’s too soon to expect N to have things worked out so it’s impossible to know if we will be coming into the game as Fledglings or maybe as Neonates or Ancillaes, or some type of mixture. Who knows? But, because we don’t know anything about the character requirements yet I can’t really decide what I want to play.

The characters I’ve created in the past, but never really got to play, were always Toreador. I’m drawn to their artistic / writing qualities. I’m toying with the idea of going Brujah this time, however. It seems that Toreador may just be cursed for me or something *wink*. The only thing with Brujah, though, is that I would want to play the character very punk like which could make me be seen as an Anarch which could be problematic for me regarding any power positions within the Camarilla. Of course, N may throw us all for a loop and have us play Sabbot, but I doubt it, but you never know.

At any rate, I’m brushing up on the clans and the traditions and such. I’m looking forward to playing and I’ll keep you posted, now and then, on how the game is going. Until then…Do you remember the Vampire poem I posted in April? No? Gee and I thought you cared *kidding* I hardly remember it myself. Well anyway, I took it to the writer’s workshop and have since done some revising. I think it has come along quite nicely and since there seems to be a running theme going I thought I would post the latest revision. Here we go:

Turning

Cradled dark kiss gift
of unlife.
Death’s love waking
to night’s Gothic arch and lace

Shadows of rolling mist, drawn into
the hush of eternity
Captured in gibbous ashen beams

Marbled façade and truth

Broken skin and gasping tremors of
final moments

Pyretic liquor surges
into the paunch of the giver
taking his fill

Still crying whispers;
rapture vibrations,
plead a hallowed testament

Burgeoning beyond the world

Boundaries left searing as
sunlight forgets its lost.
Travailing into darkness
Embraced

What is goth?

2008-07-17T23:01:00.014-04:00

Finishing his make-up the boy turns his attention to his dyed blue hair, carefully back-combing it into disarray. Last week he'd been beaten up by some skinheads because they didn't like the look of him. He remembers their fury but shrugs: he enjoys his appearance and is proud to look different. In a way he's almost glad that his clothes and attitude had provoked the attack - their mindlessness wrapped in a dull, grey, lazy uniform of bitterness gives him a reason to be their opposite.
He feels bright and optimistic about the future, slipping into a pair of leather trousers, noticing he's only got few quid left in his pocket. It doesn't matter though, the dole gives him time to do things, like his group.
A Brigandage number blares out: 'Hope', it seems to sum things up for him. With its message on his lips the boy half-dances across the room, through the door and out.
- http://www.scathe.demon.co.uk/histgoth.htm

Ok, I thought about Charmi’s suggestion to write up an essay on what the goth scene is all about but…it’s way too involved for me to put it into words right now and so….
I found someone who has already done it. At least, in my humble opinion, he has nailed it directly to the wall. If you’re at all interested in learning more I would strongly suggest visiting this site because the author, Pete Scathe, knows what he’s talking about.
For years the goth scene has been drawing more and more attention, unfortunately most of that attention has been negative and based on confusion as to what the scene is really about. Here are a few excerpts from Pete’s A History of Goth site – definitely worth the read.
Oh, BTW the picture is of the Bauhaus.
From here you’re on your own:

In the Beginning there was Punk.

Influences on goth stretch far further back, to Bowie, the Doors and the Velvet Underground, but the punk explosion of the mid/late 70s created the essential background for goth, in both music and fashion.
In the aftermath of punk in the late 70s and early 80s a bewildering variety of new and re-invented musical styles began to crop up, and around 1978-9 a style began to appear which the press had by late 1979 started to call "gothic".
The creators of this musical style (who were themselves influenced by the likes of the Velvet Underground and Bowie) were essentially Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus and UK Decay.
The first Banshees album ("The Scream", November 1978) and the first Joy Division album ("Unknown Pleasures", June 1979) laid much of the template for goth, with a notable absence of loud punk guitars and the emphasis on the rhythm section instead, along with a stark, hollow sound.
However, the first band who cannot be comfortably classified as anything other than goth were Bauhaus, who released their first single, "Bela Lugosi's Dead", in September 1979. The Banshees could be considered punk, The Cure could be considered New Wave, Joy Division could be considered post-punk, but Bauhaus were unmistakably goth in music, looks, lyrics, art and style right from their first single. In many ways they were the archetypal goth band.
Around the same time as Bauhaus were emerging, UK Decay were discarding their punk roots and developing their own independent "gothic" sound. Although never as popular as Bauhaus, Joy Division or the Banshees, UK Decay were far closer to the second wave of goth bands and were an important influence on them.
By 1980/81 a new wave of goth bands were beginning to emerge- Danse Society, Play Dead, The Sisters of Mercy- and the Cure had abandoned their New Wave sound and created a unique "gothic" sound of their own. In February 1981 Abbo from UK Decay tagged the new musical movement "gothic", but it was to be another year or so before the movement really got going.
The crucial period for the development of goth into a fully-fledged subculture is mid 1982 to mid 1983, with particular emphasis on October 1982 as the month the new movemenet suddenly started receiving major media attention.
In July 1982 the Batcave opened up.
This was at first envisaged as a club for people who were fed up with the commercial direction of New Romantic and wanted something new and darker. At first it played glam and electro music, but several early goth bands also played there and the playlist gradually became more goth.
The Batcave thus became a major rallying-point for the emerging London scene and also attracted a lot of media attention, which in turn spread the idea of a new subculture around the country. In the wake of the Batcave, similar clubs opened around the country, and the Batcave itself went "on tour", giving goths outside London somewhere to gather.
Thus, whilst offering little in the way of music (apart from ASF and Specimen), the Batcave had a major impact on goth fashion and popularity. Essentially, it added a huge dose of "glam" and media attention to the emerging subculture.
Then in October 1982 Bauhaus released "Ziggy Stardust", which became a big hit (#15 in the UK charts) and put them on Top Of The Pops and the front cover of Smash Hits (October 1982).
The new wave of goth bands also began receiving serious media attention, with Southern Death Cult getting a front cover on the NME (October 1982) and Sex Gang Children getting a front cover on Noise! (also October 1982).
Following this, two articles in early 1983 focussed on what was by then unmistakably a separate movement.
In February 1983, Richard North of the NME hailed it as Positive Punk
A month later, Mick Mercer wrote a similar article about the new bands in Melody Maker (though his choice of bands, like Danse Society, was a lot more pertinent).
Meanwhile, the movement was getting a name- the term "gothic" had been floating around for a while, and the name was fixed to the emerging scene by two of the most important bands in it: Andi, the lead singer with Sex Gang Children, was tagged "Count Visigoth" and his followers tagged "goths" by Ian Astbury from Southern Death Cult. Dave Dorrell from the NME then overheard them using the term and it passed into journalistic use.
In October 1983 Tom Vague ws referring to "Hordes of Goths" in Zig Zag magazine, by which time both the term and the subculture were firmly established.

From Pete’s Positive Punk:

"I don't like the word movement, but there's now a large collection of bands and people with the same positive feeling."- Andi, singer with Sex Gang Children, speaking on the opening night of Son of Batcave.

HAIL ERIS, Goddess of Discord, and pass the ammunition: as the heavy drumbeat rolls and the harsh chords crash and sometimes even tingle, it's then that the boys and girls come out to play. Play power!

With wild-coloured spiked hair freezing the eye, and even more vivid clothes to spice the imagination -faces, thoughts and actions - the atmosphere's infused with a charge of excitement, an air of abandon underlined with a sense of purpose.

Something stirs again in this land of fetid, directionless sludgery, this land of pretend optimism and grim reality. Theory and practice are being synthesised under the golden umbrella of a two-hour long ideal.

Welcome to the new positive punk.

Although it's not the purpose of this article to create any kind of movement or cult, any easy or accessible bandwagon to be tumbled onto, it is indisputable that a large number of bands and people involved in the culture called rock, have sprung up at approximately the same time, facing their lifestyles in the same direction. Maybe unconsciously so, It's a huge collective force that we can call the new positive punk- a re-evaluation and rejuvenation of the ideals that made the original outburst so great, an intensification of and expansion of that ethos of individuality, creativity and rebellion. The same buzz that burned our streets in '76/'77 is happening again.
The Industrial Revolution is over, a new movement has begun, and the current mood is an affirmation of that point. The natural energy that for over 200 years has been poured into the physical, the rational and the materialistic, has now all grown crooked.
The mental/magical power has been lost: It was simply not needed - steam engines, radios, electricity were so much easier and they worked. But now the glamour is wearing off. We can see the string and wires, the clockwork squeaks ... the radiation is beginning to corrode the pretty box.
All the darkness and light, all the forces are still there deep underneath, bubbling, steaming, fermenting. The instinct, ritual and ceremony are rising again in everyday life; many people are starting to use the tarot and I-ching. And the new punk groups are a reflection of this feeling; their use of mystical /metaphysical imagery and symbolism is a striking common denominator. Not in the way of dumb-dabbling and superficial posturing of, say, a Black Sabbath with their (gasp) black magic kick.
Nor is it a silly hippy Tolkien fantasy joyride, or even a Killing Joke stench-of-death gloomier-than-thou slice of fanaticism. It is, instead, an intelligent and natural interest in mystery, rather than history, that is a sign of an open mind.
These groups are aware: UK Decay (positive punk forefathers), using the dark to contrast and finally emphasise the light; Sex Gang Children taking us into the sub-world of the Crowleyan abyss; while Blood And Roses are pushing the symbols a whole lot further, their guitarist Bob being a serious student of the Art. The mystical tide we are talking about here refers, if nothing else, to the inner warmth and vital energy that human beings regard as the most favourable state to live in. The new positive punk has tapped into this current.
And if all this sounds a touch heavy, let's consider the humour, style and inherent fun that are essential parts of the movement. Let's look at groups like Specimen, who are more Rocky Horror than Aleister Crowley, preening themselves in glam-soaked traipse among the ruins. Or The Virgin Prunes' cheeky on-stage oral sex send-up. The real humour is intermixed with the sheer sense of joy de vivre present at such gatherings.
Here is a glow of energy and life that overcomes the need for artificial stimulation. Unlike the heroin or barbituate sodden club scene or the glue swamped Oi/punk arena, the emphasis here is not on drugs. Although illicit substances are not unknown, the desperate desire to nullify boredom is not present, and therefore there is no narcotic edge to the scene. Members of several groups (such as Southern Death Cult, Sex Gang Children and UK Decay) do not even drink.
For perhaps the first time, an active and flourishing disenting body will not go down with its hind legs kicking as the drug takes over.
Money and time are tight: so both of them are being spent on something far from enjoyable and important: style. There's a veritable explosion of multi-coloured aestheticism. So different from the blend, stereotyped Oi/boothby/punk fare of jeans, leather jacket and studs, this is an individualist stance even if it tends towards a common identity. A green-haired spike-topped girl wearing a long black pleated skirt, white parachute top and bootlace tie passes a tasselled, black-haired mohawk in creepers, white socks, red pegs and self-made, neatly printed T-shirt. Something clicks. They smile in acknowledgement.

We are fireworks.

The Convergence is Coming!

2008-07-14T21:52:00.032-04:00

As many of you know, R and I have been involved in the goth scene for some time now. This is a unique sub-culture that is usually misunderstood by those on the outside. I’m not going to go into a rant over this (right now) just suffice to say that we are NOT all a bunch of morally corrupt, devil/vampire worshipping, death mongers. The sub-culture can be seen as rather mellow dramatic and mournful but until you’re on the inside and truly understand what’s happening, please don’t judge or criticize. That would be the same thing as a person who has never been out of their county trying to sell their self as a world traveler. At any rate….

Convergence is, well basically, it is a goth convention. Lots of good music, extreme fashion, dancing, shopping, and conversation; let us not forget the site seeing as well. It’s a huge amount of fun and an absolutely remarkable experience to partake in. It is now in it’s 14th year and going strong. It can be a bit pricey. This is why R and I have not been able to go as often as we would like. In fact, the last one we went to was Convergence 10 in Chicago, so…it’s been a while. I still get excited over the thought of maybe being able to go each year, though. Now that R has this better job next year may actually be a possibility. Yeah!

We have several friends who have been fortunate enough to partake in several Convergences and it never ceases to amaze me when I see the absolutely beautiful pictures they come back with. This year, Convergence 14 (August 8th – 11th) will be held in Ybor City, Tampa Florida, and you thought goth’s hated the sun. Actually, anyone there may very well burst into flames at any given moment but it’s worth the risk * grin *

So, while I wish I could go, really, really wish I could go, alas I cannot (placing the back of my hand against my forehead now). I thought perhaps I would reminisce, and at the same time give you a chance to get a glimpse of what it’s like. So, without further ado I’m posting some pics of Convergence 10. Carpe Noctum.

Me, J & R

J & R

Me & J

J

Me, M, & B

Me in the corner

And now the Crowd

Some unique attire

Shopping

And...Into the Daylight

Of Cucurbitaceous, D&D, Writing, and Sewing: In other words a life update

2008-07-13T13:21:00.006-04:00

How many of you knew that squash and cucumbers were in the same family? If you didn’t know, you do now. I’ve been having some particular trouble lately with the squash members of this family. My yellow squash, zucchini, and my pumpkins are all suffering from Blossom End Rot. This sucks. Basically, what happens is that the blossom end of the fruit, opposite the stem end, rots before the fruit is fully developed. The causes vary, but a common one is due to uneven watering methods. I know that this is not the culprit in my case, though. What is causing it? Calcium deficiency. My soil has had this problem before and although I add a good amount of organic material to the soil each year, for some reason, the calcium just seems to be sucked right out. I added a goodly amount of Bone Meal around the plants this morning and gave the rest of the garden a dose of Organic Fertilizer. I’m hoping that will help. I wanted to add some Oyster Shell since it’s a much better source of calcium than bone meal but I couldn’t find any at Lowes, and I didn’t have the time to go running all over checking for it. Anyway, I went with the bone meal, we’ll see what happens. Keep those fingers crossed.

On to the D&D game. It looks like we may have to put the game on hold indefinitely. With R starting this new job and his schedule being very difficult it appears that he may not be able to run it. Not to mention the fact that when he starts classes again this fall he just won’t have any time free at all. This, of course, sucks but I certainly understand, appreciate, and admire the sacrifices he is making in order to provide us with a better life. He’s really quite remarkable. If I haven’t ever mentioned it before, let me just state it now that, I really love this man. So, even though the game may suffer, in the long run it will be for the betterment of the family. Now, there’s a small (and I do mean small) chance that we can talk R’s cousin into running the game for a while. (R’s cousin’s name also begins with an R, so we’ll call him CR, for Cousin R) Anyway, CR has been playing for as long as R has played. We’re talking something like 25 years or so, since D&D first came out in the seventies. CR doesn’t like to run games anymore; he only wants to play so…convincing him to run may be a problem. He’s really dead set against it. The only other option would be N. She could run if she wanted to, but she has never actually run one before. I know she would do great, though. Her imagination is awesome and she’s been playing almost as long as R and CR. Hopefully, one of them will pick it up, otherwise it’s hiatus city.

As for my writing, I’m getting back on the horse if you couldn’t tell by this long-winded post. I feel recovered even though I’m still in mourning. I’ll be ok, and onward I write. I need to write, I can’t live without it. I would go crazy, really, if I didn’t write. I’m sure of it. I’m planning to do some work on a really bad first draft of a poem that I wrote a while back. It’s the vampire one that’s posted on the Blog under April 10th. I took it to the writer’s group the other day and received some good feedback and I’ve decided to make it a pet project. There’s a lot of potential in it, I’m sure. It definitely needs some work, though. We’ll see what becomes of it.

Finally, I began a new sewing project. I’m making aprons for all the girls/women in the house. I love aprons, I think they’re pretty, versatile, and make good common sense. They protect clothing (god knows I need help in that department) and they feel great and look pretty. Anyway…I digress. My first one is finished; I have three others to go. This first batch is all half aprons (tied around the waist with no top), but after I get those done I plan to move on to the more challenging stuff. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time now, but one thing or another delays it. But, now I have the material, the patterns, and the time so…onward. After, or possibly in the midst of, aprons I would also like to get busy on some matching linen table covers and napkins. I have a million ideas and it just seems like I’ll never have enough time to complete everything I would like to do. I suppose time will tell.

Well, I guess that’s it for the update. Now that I’m feeling a bit more like my old self I hope to be Blogging more regularly. Then again, now that I’m feeling more like my old self, well…let’s just say; check my previous track record for posting. I have good intentions; we’ll see what happens.

Oh…Forgot One

2008-07-07T10:52:00.002-04:00

I forgot to post one of the pictures I found the other night. I think it’s worth the re-post. Tacky, yet cleverly humorous and so here it is:

On a different note. We’re taking A to get his Senior pictures today. This will be his last year now. That makes 4 out of the 9 that will be finished with high school. Heck, 1 of the 9 is done with college and another is in her last year. Time flies by whether you’re having fun or not. I’m here to testify. Man, C will be starting middle school this year; it seems like yesterday when he began Kindergarten. I think I’m going to experience a bad case of empty nest syndrome when they’re all grown and gone. I’ve been tending to my children for the last 23 years of my life; I still have another 12 years to go before the youngest is 18. Do the math; that means I’ll have spent 35 years as mom of the house. That’s a lot of time to build up to that empty nest stuff when it’s all said and done.

Of course I realize that the odds are pretty good that I’ll be tending to grandchildren, and I know that the kids will continue to come back home and visit, but it’s certainly not the same as having them all here. The fledglings are slowly, yet so quickly, leaving the nest and flying out into their own worlds. I’m down to only one child now who isn’t allowed to use the toaster alone, yet. * sigh *

Ah well, with any luck I’ll still be in good enough health to enjoy the alone time with R. Maybe we’ll actually be able to go and do stuff. Of course, I’m not sure I can remember how to behave in adult situations. I think I may feel like a fish out of water, but I’d be willing to take the risk. Perhaps it’s a bit early, though, to be planning my retirement years. I suppose, really, what I should be doing is savoring every moment of the time that I do have. So, here I go…off to savor.

Broken Hearted

2008-07-05T23:17:00.022-04:00

Well, I'm computerless, bored, and depressed so...I thought I'd try to cheer myself up with some funny pictures. Since, I don't really feel like writing I'm just going to post them. Have fun.

April Fools

Crashed and Maimed

2008-07-02T09:42:00.003-04:00

My hard drive on my spank’n new computer is a goner! All my work for the last, almost year, is gone. Yes, this sucks and yes I partially blame myself. Here’s the long and short of it.

I got my new laptop in March, before that I was using R’s computer since about last August because my old (ancient) computer was no longer functioning properly. So, I had all my writing and other info that I accumulated on R’s system from August to March. When I got the new laptop I transferred all the stuff on R’s system onto the laptop. R then deleted it off his hard drive.

So there I was, a happy camper, tooling away with my new computer. About two days before the “incident” I thought to myself, “Man, I haven’t done any backups on the this computer yet. I need to get some CDs and get that done.” Of course, the inevitable proceeded.

The other day R was moving my chair out of the way and it bumped into my desk, just hard enough to rattle things around. It knocked a candle weighing, oh…4 or 5 pounds off of a shelf. The candle, like a straight shooter, falling about three feet landed directly on my open laptop, directly over the spot where the hard drive is contained. The hard drive began making this horrible clicking sound, I knew I was in trouble, within seconds it went to the dreaded “Blue Screen of Death” and then….we had to call it.

The horrific feeling that entails when you see “Operating system not found” and then check the BIOS, only to find “HDD” – “NONE” is just, well, heart wrenching to say the least. I knew it was done for, all my work gone in the flick of a candle. Total Suckage!!!

I checked on some data recovery options but it’s really quite pricey. The cost ranges from 700.00 to 4,000.00 depending on the damage. All in all, a price we can’t afford right now. So, we’re packing the drive up and storing it with the hope that we may be able to afford the cost of recovery at some future point. Until then, I’ll be using R’s system again and waiting until we can replace my laptop hard drive.

All that work, gone…just like that. It’s sickening really and yes…believe me I’m kicking myself for not backing the shit up. I know better…so yes, I blame my procrastinating self, but it doesn’t make it suck any less. Three books in progress, many, many new poems, magazine articles, articles for Real Services, just to name a small bit of what’s gone.

The lesson….DO NOT DELAY THOSE BACKUPS PEOPLE! It’s devastating; I cried (literally) for an hour. It’s grief, real grief because a loss is a loss when your heart is involved. I fade off now, gently into mourning.

Time...What A Concept

2008-06-27T12:33:00.002-04:00

There is so much to do and never enough time to do it all. I know people everywhere experience the same phenomena. So why did we invent the concept of time again? Someone remind me; it seems so useless.

I’ve taken a permanent leave from work, in a way. It’s a rather long story so suffice to say…Due to some health problems I’m not going into work anymore but I’m still doing a minimal amount of stuff for them at home. Now, one would think that I would have boo coo amounts of time on my hands; it couldn’t be less true. It seems that no matter how much time gets freed up not only does more time take its place, but it leaches into even more time. It’s just freaky I tell ya.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. I’ve been wanting to sew but I haven’t made time for it; although I do intend to work on some stuff this weekend. I’ve managed a bit of time in the yard and garden, but no where near what I would like. I get a lot of help around the house as far as chores are concerned, so that doesn’t take a lot of time for me. I run errands frequently. But again it doesn’t consume the better part of my time. I get up each morning between 6:30 and 7:00 and I don’t go to sleep until almost midnight. Still, I never seem to have enough time. I’m forever saying to myself, “Where did the day go?” For example, it’s already 12:30 in the afternoon; I’m clueless as to where the morning went…it’s just gone. I think there may be a conspiracy. What other explanation could there be?

Well, at this point I guess I’m going to write some more. I’d also like to get some sewing done and I have a crochet project or two that I need to get busy on. On a completely different note…R got the job we had been hoping for!!!! This means that I no longer need to work, which is such a relief, of course R says that I need to write that million dollar book now…but no pressure. At the moment, despite the health issues and lack of time, things are looking up.

The Robin

2008-06-23T19:08:00.001-04:00

I held a full grown, healthy Robin in my hands yesterday. It was rather ironic actually because a cat saved its life.

I had just gotten into the house after filling the bird feeders when I saw a cat come wondering through the back yard. It was causally walking along the sidewalk and, of course, I was panicking that it might be interested in one of the feeding birds. I opened the kitchen door and it ran off through the neighbor’s yard. I decided I should probably close the gate that I had left open earlier and so I went to the back gate and started to shut it.

Suddenly, I saw what I thought was a bird taking flight, but I realized that it never made it airborne. By the time I focused my eyes and became certain it was a bird it attempted to take flight once again. It was after this when I saw the Robin was entangled in fishing line. The line was wound around the fence and the car antenna, and continued on around the Robin’s neck and one of its feet. The poor little thing was obviously scared to death but I stood back for a moment and she quelled the fleeing instinct. She sat on the hood of the van for a moment looking at me and I very slowly brought my hand toward her. She stayed still, I was worried she would try to fly again and hurt herself, as she had about three feet of slack. She continued to sit still and I spoke a little bit to her as I came closer, trying to maintain a calming voice. She allowed me to touch her and I clasped her gently into my hand. I unwound the fishing line, stroked her head and gave her a kiss (yes, I’m sentimental) and then turned her loose. She flew up to a limb on the tree just above us and sat there watching me. I could tell she was stressed, her mouth stayed open, but all in all she appeared no worse for wear.

It was really a neat experience. Birds are so soft and, yeah, you remember the adage: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Well, now I can honestly say that it’s true. Even after seeing fifty or more crows gathered in my back yard, an awesome sight by the way, and viewing all of the other birds that come and go at the feeders; even watching the mommy and daddy birds feeding the babies, none of it compares to holding that Robin just for a few moments. There was a calmness, and a connection that took place between the two of us that no other experience can really express. I’ve held young birds before, but this was different because this bird was grown and not really hurt; it’s not like it needed to be nursed back to health. Does this make sense to anyone else? I think it was the trust that it showed, the way she just waited there for me instead of continuing to try and get away. It was like she knew I was going to help and, further, like she knew she was doing me a favor by allowing me to help her. It was cool and I feel all druidic like.

Falling Back Into Old Habits

2008-06-16T13:23:00.000-04:00

It appears that I’m falling back into the bad habit of not writing every day. I really do try to write something on a daily basis, if not on my Blog then a poem, article, or story. Lately, though, I haven’t written anything for the last week and a half, perhaps. I don’t really know why. I’ve had all the normal things going on; busy life, back pain, other side-tracking events but I’ve also noticed a sort of apathy. Sometimes I find myself in this mood that just causes me to feel like, “blah, I don’t feel like sitting on my computer and typing today”. Have any of you experienced this?

I’m sure others go through similar types of feelings, but how do you actually get past it? Do you get past it, or do you have to wait for it to pass on its own? What’s the longest amount of time you think you have gone without writing? I’m just curious to see where I fit into the mix.

I had an article for InMichiana due today so I wrote this morning, because I had to. Then, I find that once I’m writing it’s difficult to stop. Hence the post. It’s like all of a sudden I’m jonesing to write. Is this an addiction? I feel like I was off the “stuff” for a while and once I had a small taste of it again, I needed more. Perhaps this is just my addictive personality coming through, but I’d really like to know how others feel about this subject.

Of Hermit Crabs and Decapitation

2008-06-02T20:54:00.002-04:00

Q. What do decapitation, scary kids, hotels, non-profit organizations, hermit crabs, lustful passion, china dolls, and a river have in common?
A. Each one of those things had a role in my dream last night, or should I say early this morning.

It was really quite weird; I’m talking bizzaro land here people. Have you ever had one of those dreams where nothing really makes sense but upon waking you remember it so clearly that you could swear it was real? Then, as the day goes on you begin to analyze the various elements only to find that each one has some point of significance. Strange as it may sound I was able to place all the pieces into some portion of my actual daily life, yes, even the decapitation (I’ve been watching Buffy again). The hermit crabs were a bit of a stretch but I think I was associating them with R’s snails in his aquarium. My guess is that I was hungry because, in my dream, I was supposed to eat these things. There they were on these platters like you get from Kroger, with a nice plastic cover. At first, I thought they were snails but then when I took the lid off they all sprouted legs and began to walk away. I remember thinking, “Great, there goes dinner. Now what am I supposed to do?” My Freudian diagnosis is that I wanted to eat something but the thought of consuming snails was just too gross for my delicate brain so instead, they just got up and walked away. I did hunt them down for a while but to no avail. That’s when the hotel and non-profit took over, (they were questioning me about the decapitated body). All in all it was very strange, throughout the remainder of the dream every now and then, one or two of the hermit crabs would pop up and I would think, “Oh, there’s one I need to get it” but I never had the means of catching it. They all ended up heading back to the river, it was an odd sensation.

Should I go into the decapitation? I don’t know man, that was a bit on the scary side. I fear that if I were to tell all I may end up in the loony bin. Let’s just suffice to say that I didn’t do it; I was only a witness but the moral of the story is…never, never let children play with sharp implements while cuddling with your lover and…you cannot replace a real head with a china doll’s head and make the human body function normally. From that point on…it’s all hermit crabs man. Anyone else want a snack?

Sick, yuck...Published, good...Bird, pretty

2008-05-30T19:30:00.003-04:00

Don’t you hate being sick? I know I do. It started with a sore throat last Saturday then quickly evolved into a full blown head cold, from there (oh no, it wasn’t done yet) it made its way into my lungs. Now, I’m once again feeling the pain of pleurisy; and yes I do mean pain. It really does hurt, man. Over the last three years or so it seems that I have developed a susceptibility to the problem. I seem to get it now about twice a year. It sucks, it totally wipes me out, and of course I become completely incapable of writing. Heck, I can’t even sit up for long without getting dizzy. Anyway, I’m on antibiotics now and a codeine cough syrup for the pain and cough which helps, but it makes me rather tired. So, while I’m awake and semi coherent I decided I would try to get a little bit of writing in.

Some other news in my life….the three personal profile articles I wrote for Inside Granger are out in publication now, yeah. They’re in the June issue, if you get a chance check it out. I don’t have a link, sorry.

Also, I found a baby Starling today. It apparently had fallen out of its nest. I saw it in the road out in front of my house and rescued it from being road kill. It still had some down on it so it isn’t quite old enough yet, but it was attempting to fly. I put it in the back yard and watched it for a while. I hoped the parents would find it as I have a large congregation of birds, Starlings included, that gather in my back yard to feed. As it turns out, I did see two birds, a male and a female, coming down to feed the young bird. I’m assuming they are the bird’s parents. I don’t know where the nest is so I’ve left him in the yard. Hopefully he’ll pull through. I’m worried about cats and raccoons, of course, but I think he has half a chance of hiding in the tall grass and under the grapevines by the fence line (which is where he hopped off to). He certainly has a better chance of surviving than he would have, had I left him in the street. It was so cool to hold him in my hands, though. I resisted bringing him inside; I think it’s better for him out there. Knowing that he has other birds watching out for him gives me hope. I don’t feel like I could be a good replacement for nature, you know? If he dies that will certainly suck, but I really think his chances of living are going to be stronger with his own.

PS – The picture isn’t of the Starling I found, I don’t have a camera, but it is about the same in the development cycle so you can get a good idea of how old he is.

Stargate SG1

2008-05-22T20:41:00.001-04:00

Well, I haven’t exactly been in a blogging type mood lately. Actually, that’s not quite right. It isn’t so much that I haven’t been in the mood, as that I’ve been in more of a mood to watch Stargate. R got me hooked on this series, so I blame him.

It all began when he had me watch a few episodes of Stargate Atlantis. I really got into it and wanted to watch more, however, there were many references made to the original series (Stargate SG1) that I could never get because I hadn’t watched the show. On a side note, years ago I do remember seeing an episode or two…but I digress.

Anyway, we went backward in time and got the original Stargate SG1 series and began watching it from the 1st season. Now, I’m on season 9 and I can’t seem to stop watching. I need to know. I need to have all of my questions answered. It feels as if it’s so close now. I understand a lot about the ancients and why some humans have their genes. I get the whole Gu’ald thing; which by the way I can’t believe escaped me while watching Atlantis…jeez.

Ok, so that’s why I haven’t been writing so much. I’m pounding my way through all 10 Stargate seasons. I’m so close…. I feel as though I have almost ascended, my brain is at about 70% (if you haven’t watched Stargate then that last remark is most certainly lost on you).

If you haven’t watched it and you’re at all into SciFi then I would say without a doubt that you need to check it out. I wouldn’t call myself the biggest SciFi geek out there (although I do know enough to classify myself as more of a Trekki, rather than a Star Wars type) don’t even get me started there. I really do like both, but Captain Kirk will always have this little girl’s heart. I do believe he was my first love.

All that said, I’m going to continue down my path to enlightenment now. I really must know how the Ori will be defeated. I know they will be stopped somehow because, hello, watched Stargate Atlantis and well, I couldn’t have done that if the Ori had taken over the Galaxy, right? After season 10 is over I do plan to return to the battle against the Wraith in the Pegasus galaxy and see how Atlantis is fairing; until then my friends, be well. I’ll try to keep my writing fairly steady, but it can be so very hard when one is captured in the off world goodness of the trials facing SG1 and the fate of the earth.

The Newest Poem

2008-05-14T13:21:00.002-04:00

Follow the wave;

Flow from the ground as
the muddied grass stands to attention
calling the sun
Clinging to depths of processed
mass media

The rain beckons new emotion
answering the plea of tolerance
and the infirmity of a neglected way
making waves
Satellite photographs replace fatality with
sentiments of wired embrace

Breaking the shore

Washing over banks of billboards and wall paintings
the flower has begun to open
Headlights glide into daylight
Running distances of faith.

Course of action breathes into the breeze.
The song travels into
electricity’s rampant weaving while nerves jump to

impact the calling of
a beloved to the exception
of daylight’s fragrance.
It lingers like sweat on the lip.

Submerge the planes

Storm across reasoned minds and reflective souls.
The rice patties scream from necessity to
the lost generation who promised to
put it right.

Worldly knowledge estranges itself
from the beginning of time – lacking we progress –
disassembled pieces of creation blanked
out into pairs or tri folds, of flesh

Obsession brinks disheveled ways
floating on persistence. Ordered thought, brought
to its knees
as we back out of the river
and into a life of fascination.

Wildlife Good...Environment Necessary

2008-05-12T20:24:00.004-04:00

The post tonight will be brief; yeah, yeah…don’t say it.

I thought I would point you to a direction that will help preserve wildlife. If you haven’t guessed it by now I’m a bit of an environment and animal person. I think it’s vitally important to take care of the earth and all its inhabitants and to me that means making a conscience effort to be involved. That being said here’s the link to the National Wildlife Federation website. If you sign up for the emails you’ll receive word when vital bills are being voted on regarding our environment and the beings within it. This will allow you to send a message to your congress(person) asking them to either vote for or against said bill. It will also provide you with lots of different information.

So with no further ado National Wildlife Federation

Grade School Spring Program

2008-05-08T21:39:00.000-04:00

The two youngest kids had their Spring Program tonight at school. It was quite the event. I have to say, they do stand out in a crowd. There was this one place in the show where the children were singing a friendship song. They all had to turn to their partner and carry out hand gestures and the like. G turned to his partner and discovered that his partner was absent. It was great, without missing a beat he turned to the audience, shrugged his shoulders and played to the audience as if we were his partner. Everyone was cracking up; I was in tears I was laughing so hard.
Then, W had to go up to the mic and read several lines. She did it flawlessly, of course the fact that she yelled into the mic while she was reading was politely excused by the audience. I believe they realized that she hadn’t a vast amount of experience with microphones. So, everyone made a slight jump in their seats and then cringed up a bit while they were enlightened as to how many different languages were spoken by the billions of people in the world. By the way, the theme for tonight was, “All people smile in the same language”.
Ironically, after spending the entire program singing and talking about the myriad cultures, languages, and people of the world the program ended with a good ‘ol version of I’m proud to be an American. All in all, the program was nice. The chairs were horribly uncomfortable but, hey I’m listening to Duran Duran now so the world is good.

Waldorf Salad

2008-05-04T21:38:00.003-04:00

Well slap my rump and call me a happy camper. I just finished carving out a new sewing nook in the basement for myself. I’m pleased with it; I think it will be a nice place to leave the world behind and get my creativity flowing.

What else…? I also burned three new CDs to listen to at work. It should help make the days pass more pleasantly. I need to remember to bring some ferns with me tomorrow, too. I’m exchanging them for some Hostas. That will complete my front yard planters. They have a northern exposure and are filled with ferns, hostas, lily of the valley, and ivy; I think it will look splendid. Did I mention I have some new CDs?....Currently listening to “Love-Tragedy” by the Cruxshadows; I’m a happy camper; yippie! I love getting new music.

Oh, I should probably explain the whole Waldorf Salad thing, huh? Remember the “poem a day challenge” posted on Poetic Asides? Well, two of my poems were selected as highlights. One was my poem “How Waldorf Salad Behaves”. The prompt for that day was, “How ____ Behaves” where we had to fill in the blank. I have no idea why Waldorf Salad came to mind. I’m just peculiar that way, I guess. The second poem was an Alfred Hitchcock prompt where we were supposed to provide a surprise ending. So, here they both are. I had fun writing them and I’m happy they were highlighted. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy like. That said, I’m going to cuddle up with my Wilkie Collins novel The Woman In White and call it a day. I had a nice weekend; it was relaxing. I needed that. Whoot!

How Waldorf Salad Behaves

In its creamy bed of mayonnaise and sugar
and lemon juice

The crisp apples bite back at stalks of celery
and walnuts

Crunching with delight the flavors blend
to make a most delectable impression

Alfred Hitchcock Prompt -

The geese are chasing the people away
from their eggs, down by the river.
The lawn is a beautiful shade of summer green
decorated with romantic iron benches.
Look at the Hollyhocks showing their hues of
sky, and blush, and sun.
The day is open, flowing wide toward forever
and I’m so glad you came to visit.
Cobblestone steps guide the way back to the patio
which delivers its closure.
The electroshock therapy is going well
please come to see me again.

Economic Stimulus – Bush Scams Us

2008-05-03T09:12:00.005-04:00

I have a bit if unfortunate news for many people who are waiting on their stimulus payment from the Bush administration. Big surprise, they failed to provide the public with vital information that would become crucial in making life decisions.

Did anyone read the fine print? I just did. You see we were wondering when we would see the money so R went to the IRS website. It turns out that if you happen to be one of the millions of Americans who owe on student loans, child support, or taxes you won’t be getting that package after all. The money, instead of coming to you, will be applied to your debt. So, personally as a person who has student loans, I’m screwed. How about you?

Here’s how you can know whether or not you’ll actually see any of that promised gold. If you have received a written notice from the IRS then you should be good to go; otherwise…forget it. The following is an excerpt from the IRS website in regards to the stimulus package – read it and weep people.

Some taxpayers may receive smaller economic stimulus payments than they anticipated. By law, the stimulus payments are offset to satisfy past-due taxes, student loans, child support and certain other debts.

The IRS will send notices to taxpayers who have already filed a 2007 tax return and who are eligible for an economic stimulus payment. This notice will serve as an important recordkeeping document and should be retained by taxpayers. By keeping people informed, the IRS hopes to reduce calls to customer service representatives who are still busy helping taxpayers complete tax returns

http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=181972,00.html

People are Messed Up

2008-04-29T19:55:00.008-04:00

It never fails to astound me just how messed up the human race can be. People live in their own little worlds, life goes on and no one realizes what a freak the person standing right next to you can be. Perhaps you’re the freak, who knows? What’s my point here? Just this:

If you haven’t heard, there is a man in Austria who has been holding his daughter captive in a cell in his basement for the last 24 years, yes 24 years. That, of course, isn’t the worst of it. He abused her sexually, fathering at least seven children with her; 1 whom he burned in a furnace after the baby died from neglect, 3 who were held in the cell with their mother and never saw daylight; then taking the other 3 to live with him and his wife. The wife apparently had no clue, as she believed the daughter to have runaway when she was 18 and was then told the children were left at the door. This is a really messed up deal, as you can well imagine.

Then, here locally, there is man who is convicted of a robbery. He threatened 2 women with a knife at a Fun Tan shop, attempted to rape them (but no information on why he didn’t actually rape them) and took some cash. Now, this too is messed up, but I think most people would agree that it’s not as messed up as contestant number 1.

So, want to take a guess at what their jail times are? I’ll give you a hint.
The maximum sentence the Austrian can receive is 15 years, yes 15 years. The robber, was handed a 40 year sentence.

Now, I would present the question. Who here is really the messed up people?

If you said, the people residing over our world’s legal systems, then perhaps there is hope for you yet. Maybe, just maybe, you haven’t succumbed to the weird, messed up, bizzareo world that these other people are living in. I personally don’t understand how our values got so terribly screwed out of place. Seriously, when did threats and robbery become a more serious crime than, confinement (for years, and years), sexual abuse, and let’s face it, just outright being too fucked up in the head to deserve to live?

People are messed up, man.

Lilies and Ferns

2008-04-27T10:04:00.004-04:00

Today prom- ises to be a busy, busy Sunday. Whilst I write this I am thinking of how I’m going to manage to dig up a bunch of Ferns that I need to move. Then I need to replant them, get laundry done, motivate two out three children to take showers (one is already done), do the dishes, get my own shower and leave to meet R’s dad in Elkhart for dinner. Then I need to get back here, call a friend who I will be swapping some of my ferns with (she’ll be giving me some Lily of the Valley) so I can arrange to get those, call the Audubon (again) because I just can’t get in touch with anyone who seems to know where the key to the sanctuary is, then…I have three articles to write for Inside Granger that will be due by Tuesday. But hey, no pressure…seriously, I can do this but it will be a busy day so…I can’t stay long.

BTW – I did get my first professional publication out in the May issue of InMichiana. I was very thrilled. It’s not out to the public yet, but should be soon. When it becomes available I’ll post a link to it. Thank you Charmi for plugging it; I really appreciate it.

Big Mistake

2008-04-24T22:30:00.001-04:00

Wow! Talk about your bad mistakes! I think I really messed up here, seriously. I can’t believe I put a picture of King George on my BLOG site. What was I thinking? OMG!!!!! Now every time I pull up my page I have to see his face. I get sick to my stomach and lose any and all chance of writing anything decent, because all of my creativity is instantly sucked from my being. WTF!

I think I may have to delete the picture. I am completely serious. I don’t think I can take it much longer. I actually told myself, “It’ll be ok, it will only be visible until you write your next post, as long as you don’t scroll down; and after a few more posts it will be sent to the archive where you never have to look at it again.” I really did say this to myself. But, despite the reassurance I find myself sickened at the mere knowledge that it’s there and the impression is now burned into my brain. What’s a poor girl to do?

I hate to eliminate a portion of the BLOG that was honestly put there to make a point, but….I don’t know, I guess I’ll try to keep my dinner down for a few more days and hopefully allow it to pass into archive land. This is tougher than giving up crack, though. I just want everyone to know the lengths I’m willing to go to in order to provide a full layout of my thought process. I wouldn’t do this for just anyone.

That said, I’m going to post this and then go to bed. I need to get up early(er) and I have a full day ahead of me. What else is new, right? Ok then, I’m not putting up a picture tonight. I want to try and erase any and all images from my mind; at least for the present time. God, please don’t let me dream tonight. It might be more than I can take.

Rant

2008-04-22T19:22:00.005-04:00

The Biggest Whiny Brat Of All
*Think About It

Dare I say it, lest I become the target for whiny vengeance? Well, I must. Someone has to say it. Things are just going too far. Have you heard about the kid, I think he’s in one of the Carolinas, who was going to plant multiple bombs throughout his school? I mean come on. The kid didn’t like jocks or some stupid ass thing like that so he was going to blow “Everyone” up and then take his self out too.

I am getting so sick of these dumbasses. Seriously, what makes them think that their problems are any more difficult than the problems that every other person on the face of the planet is dealing with? I blame this recent trend on a society who has babied their children to death “literally”. Today we see kids on their local soccer teams, ALL getting a trophy because “No One” should be left out; or work appreciation awards go to “Everyone” because it’s not right to ignore those who are only doing what they were HIRED to do.

People!!! Let’s get back to reality. There are those of us who excel and those who don’t. If you’re one who does not, then get off your ass and work harder! People have been living together for centuries without having to recognize the “special” feelings of every freakin’ person on the planet. And guess what, everyone didn't go postal because of it.

I think what it boils down to is this. We have created a generation of people now, who expect to be recognized for everything in their lives, no matter how absurd. Then you get these people pissed off because, let’s face it, it’s impossible to recognize every single accomplishment for every single person. Next thing you know, you have these dumbasses running off on a shooting, or bombing, spree because they feel left out. BOO FUCKING HOO!!!

In my day, people got recognized because they deserved it. They went over and above what was expected of them. They went the proverbial, “Extra Mile” and made the world a better place because of it. I didn’t get the brownie buttons and the mentions they did. I didn’t excel like they did. I was a semi-popular nerdy kind of freak who floated along like most everyone else, and you know what….I didn’t go off and kill anyone!!!

All I can say is that I think these people are spoiled little brats. Whining about how hard their life has been, when they obviously haven’t experienced shit. Let’s put them all on a plane and drop them in the middle of Africa or Iraq and tell them to fend for themselves. Then maybe they’ll toughen up a bit and begin to understand what a hard life is really all about. Oh wait…we can’t do that because they’re all too chicken shit to LIVE after they have destroyed the lives of all of their innocent victims and the victims families!!! Assholes!

K….I feel better now.

Crunchy Frog

2008-04-21T21:49:00.001-04:00

Mmmmm, who doesn’t love chocolate? Yeah, yeah I know there are some of you out there but I; I am not among you. I love chocolate. I adore chocolate. I am, at his very moment craving chocolate…good chocolate because there is good and bad chocolate. I don’t believe I have ever craved bad chocolate. In other words, I would very much, right now, like to have some delicious, yummy in the tummy, absolutely bad for you, good chocolate.

I guess some people have been concerned lately that the FDA may begin to regulate the amount of fat in chocolate due to the whole bad fat issue. According to the FDA, though, we chocolate lovers are safe. They won’t be taking away our yummy goodness any time soon.

So, now that we know our chocolate is safe….have you ever caught the “Crunchy Frog” episode of Monty Python? It’s really quite humorous. If you haven’t seen it then get off your duff and do so; especially if you’re a chocolate lover. It’s really gross, but in a funny sort of way. The basic plot has to do with a food inspector coming to discuss the “ingredients” in a company’s fine chocolates. If the title hasn’t given you a clue, well then, you’re a bit on the dense side aren’t cha? There are other flavors too; something like Spring Surprise and Larks Vomit, if I remember correctly. Anyway, it’s a good time. Make sure you bring along your favorite Bon Bons and curl up for a good laugh. “And now for something completely different”.

A Day In My Life

2008-04-19T21:57:00.004-04:00

In the words of Mayor Richard Wilkins III, from Sunnydale, “Well Gosh”. It’s been such a busy weekend. It started out with me joining The League of Women Voters. That was actually rather fun. (Hey, don’t blow me a line of nerddom here. If the Buffy reference and D&D posts haven’t given you a clue already, then you may as well throw in the towel). At any rate, it was fun and now I have an opportunity to be more of an influence in my community. That alone should scare most people.

After the League I came home to a vomiting child. He wasn’t actually vomiting when I walked in the door. He waited until I got home and began to settle in and then tossed his cookies all the way down the stairway, through the living room and onto the bathroom floor. He was finished by the time he made it to the toilet. So, I spent the rest of the evening (until about 1:00 AM) scraping up pot pie and scrubbing carpet and walls with LOTS of disinfectant and then showering. Of course he wasn’t done; he had a repeat about 4:30 in the morning. Fortunately, I was prepared for that one and had a bucket on hand. I did, however, end up staying awake for a good long time after that and by the time I fell back to sleep the other kids were getting up. I crashed out of pure exhaustion until about 11:00; R got the kids breakfast. I think he felt bad for leaving me with “puke” duty; he has a weak stomach, things would have been much worse.

K, then after I get up and feed the birdies, have my coffee, do some laundry, and take another shower I head off to the store where I stock up on soup, jello, and crackers. I drop it all off at home and head up to campus for the Wolfson Awards and pre-award sessions with the guest author, Brock Clarke who has recently published An Arsonist’s Guide to Writers’ Homes in New England. I made it home about 9:00 PM and between putting on some jammies, getting the kids settled for bed and feeding the cats I am trying to catch up on my writing.

Tomorrow I have to write up some questions for the three interviews that I’m scheduled to do, Monday, for the Personal Profile articles I’ll be writing for Inside Granger, which is a flagship publication of the Tribune. Then I need to go see one of my daughters’ new apartment, because I saw the other daughters’ new house and now she feels neglected. They both just moved into new places within the last two weeks. Anyway, I’m going to go there at some time tomorrow, it still hasn’t been decided exactly when because…R and his brother will have the van, they’re going fishing, so my oldest daughter is going to come and pick me and the rest of the kids up and go see the apartment; this is, if none of the kids are puking. If they are, then I’ll have to wait until R gets home and go by myself Sunday night.

I still have plants waiting to go into the ground. I’ve been trying to get them in for about two weeks now. They’re going to die before I can plant them I just know it. Oh yeah, I have two poems to write for the Poetic Asides poem a day challenge because I missed last night due to pukage. Does it still count if I write two in one day instead? But despite everything, at the moment I’m writing and listening to X-Mal Deutschland so life is good and I’m content. Peace Out Man!

Gargoyles Anyone?

2008-04-17T21:01:00.004-04:00

While thinking what to write about tonight, gargoyles came to mind. Actually, it was more along the lines of collectables. I collect gargoyles, skulls, and dragons those are just the things I find interesting. So, I thought, “I should talk about collecting things and maybe find out what other people collect.” This was all well and good, however…..

And there’s always a, however. I found myself sidetracked from the topic when I began looking for a really cool gargoyle picture online. I did a search for “gargoyles” under Google Images and found some pretty cool stuff. Then, I thought further (this can be a dangerous practice for me) and decided to see what pictures I could find of local gargoyles. So, I narrowed the search to include “South Bend” and you know what I found? Not too dang much, that’s what. The picture that is accompanying this post is the only gargoyle picture I could find that is worth the search. It’s a picture from the house over by Showplace 16, the one way back in the woods. It’s called Beyer Castle and is a local Bed and Breakfast. Now I can’t attest for the B&B’s hospitality since I’ve never had the pleasure of patronizing the establishment; but I can say that they have some awesome architecture and hey…guess what…gargoyles!

That being said now, my thoughts continued. I wondered why there weren’t very many cool pics of local gargoyles. Is it because South Bend is just lacking in its gargoyle population, perhaps South Benders just aren’t into gargoyles, or maybe, hmm I don’t know, maybe there’s something else going on. So, for what it’s worth I’d like to propose a challenge to the local South Bend population. I say, let’s get some pictures of our local protectorates, and water spouts. Surely there must be some beastly eyes peering down on us as we travel the roads going about our business. I’m thinking that South Benders could, with camera in hand, go about their daily business and when a gargoyle is spotted watching you from above, snap its picture. Then post it online and tell us where to find it. Wouldn’t it be neat, if the next time a search for “gargoyles”"south bend”, turned up like twenty pages of really cool gargoyle pictures? I think it would. Personally, I would like to find out just how many of these guys are out there. Maybe we could give, like, a brownie point to the person who posts the most. Just thinking….

Oh, and I would still be interested in finding out what people collect. I know I’m not the only one who hoards items of little or no real potential value just for the sake of having them to look at.

Crazy, I'm so Crazy

2008-04-16T22:27:00.002-04:00

I don’t have a lot of time today to write, but since I didn’t post yesterday I’m going to write at least something.

That being said and in lieu of my last post; I think I’m going nuts, really. For example, earlier today I was searching for a copper lid while I was cooking dinner. This is a lid I use often, and it’s normally in the drawer with the other lids. So, here I am, searching the entire kitchen beginning to get angry because I can’t find the damn thing, when…suddenly; I see it on the table right in front of me and I say, “Damn, it’s right here in front of me on the table.” That’s when my sister-in-law says, “You put it there just a minute ago. I thought you were talking about a different lid because you were asking where the copper lid was as you put it on the table. I figured you couldn’t have been talking about that one.” Yep, I’m thinking that’s a sure sign. Then later on when I went to get the coffee pot setup…I started to put fresh grounds in on top of the old grounds that were there from the last pot…ooo, yuck. I’m glad I caught that one. Jeez man I used to think the world was nuts and I was the sane one, now I’m not so sure.
Of course, I suppose I could just be joining the ranks. Hmm.

Look Ma, A Room With A View

2008-04-14T22:17:00.005-04:00

I was trying to think of a topic to write on and it finally came to me. I figured, “This is nuts, just totally crazy man; cause I can’t think of anything to write about.” So, in the spirit of insanity welcome to my world. I decided to go online and look for pictures of old, abandoned insane asylums. I found this one. It’s called Northampton State Hospital and was located in Massachusetts. I say, was, because it has been demolished now, but in it’s day, well, you can just imagine how much fun it would have been to stay there.

The picture is courtesy of Mental Floss who has posted many photos on the site. I would strongly encourage you to take the mental journey to Northampton. It’s amazing what people can live through, really. I mean the people running the place thought the patients were the crazy ones, let’s consider some of the things they put the patients through. I’d say they get the crazy award as well.

I have a book on asylums in the 1800s. It focuses on women, and many parts of it were written by the women who were actually placed in these places. Many women at that time would be committed to an asylum because their husbands no longer wanted them around; many had their money and possessions taken from them as well. And yes, men had the authority to do that then. All it took were two reputable men to make a statement that the woman was nuts, along with one doctor and boom, off to the institution. They would under go such torments as the water treatment. This was used, god only knows why, as a means of “treating” the patients. It began very early in the morning. The patient would be wrapped, like a mummy excluding the face, in cloth and then drenched with buckets of water and kept wet for several hours. The wraps would then be removed and the patient would be placed into a tub of water where they were kept for several more hours. After a short reprieve for food they would be wrapped once again and drenched for hours. Then the tub, then food, then another refreshing wrap before bed time. I can’t imagine a more relaxing treatment, can you? This would go on for weeks, sometimes months at a time, day in and day out, everyday for weeks or months, everyday. Personally, if you weren’t crazy when you went in you sure as hell would be after the personal, caring and loving treatments.

Well, I guess that wraps up my brief history on insane asylums for now. These places are wicked man and so I guess that’s why they call out to me. Yes, yes I do hear them calling. Don’t you?

Another One of Those Poem Things

2008-04-13T18:12:00.002-04:00

Oky doky -
Writer's Digest has a BLOG being done by Robert Lee Brewer. He's celebrating poetry month this April by providing a new prompt each day and challenging poets to write a poem everyday during the month of April and posting them to the comments section of the BLOG. I have to say, I think this is a really neat idea and I have been participating in it for the last three days now; since I found out about it. So, due to this I am posting the three poems that I have written thus far.

1st - the prompt was "An Object"

I've called this one - The Skull

Hollow sockets, peering
Orifice of scent
Cranial experience - plated bone
Absence of flesh and heat
Maxilla grinning its half smile
Poor Yorick

2nd - The prompt was "An Apology"

I've called this one (big surprise) - Apology

Pressure under foot
it’s all wrong
like standing on a rope.
Howling and hissing
frightened eyes dart at me
fleeing instinct she races across the room
turns back to me with my call.
Hearing the voice of love
the reassurance of “I’m sorry”
her tail recovers and hugs and cuddles return.

And 3rd, but not least, today's prompt "Music" we were to choose lyrics from a song and write about how they made us feel

I don't have a name for this one yet

On daze, like this
In times like these
I feel an animal deep inside
Heel to haunch on bended knees
- Sisters of Mercy; The Corrosion

Backward and laying on the beach
singing in the distant sun
the arrival of new flesh
Still passion absorbed into the night
a hooked moon on breaking glass
the loneliness of domination
The kind of love one waits for
beckoning the day but falling into
something else entirely
Howl for the ever after
and turn the shell upside down.

So that's it. I suggest you go to the site - check the side bar for "Poetic Asides" and you'll find it just fine. Then join in.

The Howler In Me

2008-04-11T14:37:00.003-04:00

Well, it’s been a while since I talked about our D&D game. We’ve entered into a new campaign. The entire party is made up of either evil or neutral type characters. We were originally meant to be an espionage and assassination team but got side tracked into a dungeon. We have, though, after the horrible deaths of several party members, made our way out of the dungeon and will be starting anew.

I’m playing a neutral evil druid who specializes in wild shaping. This means that, as I rise in levels, I will be able to convert my appearance into many different forms. I can currently make myself look like any other humanoid. I can also turn into any small or medium creature. This came in handy as I was able to turn into a Fleshraker (think Velociraptor) and help fight off the Lich that would have us for breakfast. Of course, in hind sight it really didn’t matter because we couldn’t do enough damage to him anyway. We were, however, able to procure our weapons, equipment, and armor that he had taken from us. This was a good thing in a bad world.

So, back to my character. I am half human and half draconic; meaning one of my grandparents was a dragon. It just so happens that my grandmommy was an EVIL dragon and rather on the crazy side as well. The picture is one of dear ol’ granny…gotta love her. She liked the feel of still moving parts in her mouth as she fed. Yummy, I’m hungry now. After she met up with dear ol’grandad, an evil sorcerer, they had my loving daddy. Well, to make a long story short…daddy met mommy (a druid) had baby, left mommy and along came freak girl me. I can best be described as looking almost human with long black hair and a nice form. Of course, if you look too closely you’ll see that my hands and my feet are actually more claw like than hand and foot like. What may, on first glance, appear to be decorative pieces in my hair are instead three purple, spine type appendages protruding from behind each ear. Then, there’s the yellow cat eyes and we can’t forget the thin stripe of purple scales that run the entire length of my body on each of my sides. In other words, I’m a pretty sight. If you like that sort of thing. Is it any wonder that I’ve mastered shape shifting?

We play tomorrow night. I guess we’ll see if I live to form another being.

First Draft

2008-04-10T09:48:00.002-04:00

Cradled drink of lover’s arms
Black kiss
Death’s love, waking to night
Gothic arch and lace
Shadows slink forward waiting
Moments of eternity
Marbled façade or truth
Captured in the pale moon
Screaming
Desire
Pleasure
Anticipation
Embraced the drink persists

Now Why Don't He Write

2008-04-07T22:32:00.002-04:00

Ok, so maybe I haven’t been so consistent. It’s not my fault though, really man, the dog ate my computer; I swear!
I have been writing though, I think I’m working on a novel. If it turns out similar to what I envision then I’ll end up with a dystopian novel with a romantic era (1780ish-1840ish) feel to it and, gee, I would love to have a Dickens sound to it. I guess we’ll have to see. It’s still way too early to know anything about it for sure. Heck, I don’t even know the character’s names yet. So far, I’m referring to them as HERO, HEROIN, XX, and YY but I may change the two latter names to XY and XX just for sexual orientation purposes :-)
Now, I am going to try and write more often…remember in Dances with Wolves when the big, fat, sloppy guy said, “I bet there’s someone waiting at home saying; Now why don’t he write” if not then go watch the movie it’ll come to ya sooner or later, anyway I digress. So, I’m going to try and write more often, really. I’m inspired and maybe I’ll be able to find some time. That’s always the issue, isn’t it?
So sue me, no wait don’t. I mean it really…don’t.

A Poem - First Draft

2008-01-29T17:16:00.000-05:00

Well, at least it hasn't been like three months since my last post. This is a first draft; don't be too critical. This poem originated out of an imaging exercise:

Hunger steers them to the back yard
Like miners elated over their gold, more hear the call and come.
A dozen, at least, sometimes fifty and then I lose count
Left over meals, their voices sing in delight of their find
An orderly parade of black hopping bandits.

Do they dare attempt the seed guarded by the grey squirrel?
The survival dance begins, as squirrel straightens and lunges forward
Black wings rise into the air and back down again
Another attempt, this one from behind,
the seed travels down the gullet as the victor takes to the air.

The rooftops and trees brim over with life
A scene from Poe, or Hitchcock
They continue to cawl for their roost
The yard is busier than O’hare
Take offs and landings, but no need for air control

As the feast draws to its end the landings become fewer
Footprints in the snow, evidence that there was an army
The talon tracks impressing the chaos
The observation seeing the order
A community, working toward one end.

Writing Journal Practice

2008-01-22T19:35:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've decided to post my writing journal entries. This was today's. I know it's not much but it's practice so...

People: They really are nuts for the most part. They all want what they want when they want it. Then when two people want either the same thing at the same time or different things at the same time all hell breaks loose.

For the most part, though, everyone is just trying to do what he or she can when they can. It doesn’t seem like the majority of individuals is out to get someone else, they’re just having conflicts of needs and time. Each person struggles to achieve their goals while others struggle to achieve theirs at the same time and place. Is it any wonder that there’s conflict?

So, if this is obvious, then why can’t people be decent enough to one another as a means of decreasing this tension and conflict? I really think it’s boiling down to manners here. It seems to me that now a days everyone feels their needs out weigh anyone else’s, so they believe they are entitled to rude and arrogant behavior when a conflict arises.

Let’s stop this nonsense and understand that everyone’s need is just as great as your own. It is no less urgent to them than yours is to you. Step back and be nice about it. Start treating others, as you would want to be treated. It’s really pretty simple. Then perhaps, when everyone has began to build up that trust in human nature again, we can focus on the serious problems facing today’s society, and as a whole figure out how to make life better for everyone.

Back Again

2008-01-21T17:52:00.000-05:00

Ok, well I guess I’m going to try this again. I know I haven’t been exactly, oh shall we say, consistent with my posts, but…Anyway, I’m working on it.

So I’ve accepted an internship with Real Services. They are a non-profit organization that assists the elderly with various needs. I’ll be working on grant writing (the primary reason for accepting the job) and also volunteer coordination. I think it will be a great way to break into non-profit grant writing, which I believe I will thoroughly enjoy. I think I would like to make a living at it.

I also have an interview tomorrow with an editor of the local newspaper, in charge of the supplemental inserts. She wants to meet up and see if there is a match in interests. So, this could lead into some nice freelance work on the side.

The wind has been pushing me further and further into the writing direction, as opposed to the librarian direction so…I’m ready to fly with the breeze, “I am a leaf on the wind” as Wash would say. Wash, by the way, was the pilot in the Firefly series and the movie Serenity that was made as a conclusion to the series. It totally rocks, if you’re a Buffy or Angel fan you would like this I’m sure. The same guy who did Buffy & Angel created it. Firefly is different, though. Think space, pirates, and lots of adventure.

I guess that’s it for today. Let’s hope things begin to get more regular now. I’ll be getting a new laptop with my tax returns. That will make writing much easier since I won’t have to share one computer with my online gaming addicted R. Gotta love him.

Fruition

2007-10-15T21:58:00.000-04:00

Sections of a mind
Citrus Fruit

Tortured emotions
Peel the psyche open
Untested remedies
Divide the soul

Flowering hymen
Pomegranate

Breaking into the abstract
Seeds spilling forth
Femininity meets masculinity
A distant mirrored image

Bushel of guts
Elderberries

The Christ complex with swollen belly
Picking viscera globules
Disembowelment causes shivering
Cradle the child no longer within

Making ends meet. Feminism.

2007-07-17T15:42:00.000-04:00

I’ve recently decided that I believe I could be very happy being supported by a man. I know this sounds rather 19th century but seriously, what were the women’s suffrage people thinking? Ok, ok don’t get me wrong here; I am what most people would consider to be a feminist. I believe in equal rights, equal pay and all that BUT I want my cake and I want to eat it too. I find the more I stay at home (since I’m not at school so much now) the more I want to stay at home. I really like it. I spend my days taking care of the house and kids. I sew, I garden, and I’ve even taken to baking fresh bread…without the machine…all hand done the old fashioned way. I think I could get used to it very easily.
Then reality sets in and I realize that soon without an additional full time income we’re doomed to a life below poverty level because even with 15 years experience and a college education R still won’t make enough to support our large family. It must be a conspiracy, seriously. What went wrong? Instead of hosting tea parties for my fellow women friends where we could talk for hours about the ills of society and organize groups to correct the problems, we’re now stuck in the work force. I don’t know, this is just a rambling and not well thought out…yet. But it seems to me something is definitely off. Maybe in my spare time while I seek a job I’ll figure out exactly what it is. Until then I just wanted to throw something out there as food for thought.