Oh…Forgot One

I forgot to post one of the pictures I found the other night. I think it’s worth the re-post. Tacky, yet cleverly humorous and so here it is:





On a different note. We’re taking A to get his Senior pictures today. This will be his last year now. That makes 4 out of the 9 that will be finished with high school. Heck, 1 of the 9 is done with college and another is in her last year. Time flies by whether you’re having fun or not. I’m here to testify. Man, C will be starting middle school this year; it seems like yesterday when he began Kindergarten. I think I’m going to experience a bad case of empty nest syndrome when they’re all grown and gone. I’ve been tending to my children for the last 23 years of my life; I still have another 12 years to go before the youngest is 18. Do the math; that means I’ll have spent 35 years as mom of the house. That’s a lot of time to build up to that empty nest stuff when it’s all said and done.

Of course I realize that the odds are pretty good that I’ll be tending to grandchildren, and I know that the kids will continue to come back home and visit, but it’s certainly not the same as having them all here. The fledglings are slowly, yet so quickly, leaving the nest and flying out into their own worlds. I’m down to only one child now who isn’t allowed to use the toaster alone, yet. * sigh *

Ah well, with any luck I’ll still be in good enough health to enjoy the alone time with R. Maybe we’ll actually be able to go and do stuff. Of course, I’m not sure I can remember how to behave in adult situations. I think I may feel like a fish out of water, but I’d be willing to take the risk. Perhaps it’s a bit early, though, to be planning my retirement years. I suppose, really, what I should be doing is savoring every moment of the time that I do have. So, here I go…off to savor.

Broken Hearted

Well, I'm computerless, bored, and depressed so...I thought I'd try to cheer myself up with some funny pictures. Since, I don't really feel like writing I'm just going to post them. Have fun.


















April Fools

Crashed and Maimed

My hard drive on my spank’n new computer is a goner! All my work for the last, almost year, is gone. Yes, this sucks and yes I partially blame myself. Here’s the long and short of it.

I got my new laptop in March, before that I was using R’s computer since about last August because my old (ancient) computer was no longer functioning properly. So, I had all my writing and other info that I accumulated on R’s system from August to March. When I got the new laptop I transferred all the stuff on R’s system onto the laptop. R then deleted it off his hard drive.

So there I was, a happy camper, tooling away with my new computer. About two days before the “incident” I thought to myself, “Man, I haven’t done any backups on the this computer yet. I need to get some CDs and get that done.” Of course, the inevitable proceeded.

The other day R was moving my chair out of the way and it bumped into my desk, just hard enough to rattle things around. It knocked a candle weighing, oh…4 or 5 pounds off of a shelf. The candle, like a straight shooter, falling about three feet landed directly on my open laptop, directly over the spot where the hard drive is contained. The hard drive began making this horrible clicking sound, I knew I was in trouble, within seconds it went to the dreaded “Blue Screen of Death” and then….we had to call it.

The horrific feeling that entails when you see “Operating system not found” and then check the BIOS, only to find “HDD” – “NONE” is just, well, heart wrenching to say the least. I knew it was done for, all my work gone in the flick of a candle. Total Suckage!!!

I checked on some data recovery options but it’s really quite pricey. The cost ranges from 700.00 to 4,000.00 depending on the damage. All in all, a price we can’t afford right now. So, we’re packing the drive up and storing it with the hope that we may be able to afford the cost of recovery at some future point. Until then, I’ll be using R’s system again and waiting until we can replace my laptop hard drive.

All that work, gone…just like that. It’s sickening really and yes…believe me I’m kicking myself for not backing the shit up. I know better…so yes, I blame my procrastinating self, but it doesn’t make it suck any less. Three books in progress, many, many new poems, magazine articles, articles for Real Services, just to name a small bit of what’s gone.

The lesson….DO NOT DELAY THOSE BACKUPS PEOPLE! It’s devastating; I cried (literally) for an hour. It’s grief, real grief because a loss is a loss when your heart is involved. I fade off now, gently into mourning.

Time...What A Concept

There is so much to do and never enough time to do it all. I know people everywhere experience the same phenomena. So why did we invent the concept of time again? Someone remind me; it seems so useless.

I’ve taken a permanent leave from work, in a way. It’s a rather long story so suffice to say…Due to some health problems I’m not going into work anymore but I’m still doing a minimal amount of stuff for them at home. Now, one would think that I would have boo coo amounts of time on my hands; it couldn’t be less true. It seems that no matter how much time gets freed up not only does more time take its place, but it leaches into even more time. It’s just freaky I tell ya.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. I’ve been wanting to sew but I haven’t made time for it; although I do intend to work on some stuff this weekend. I’ve managed a bit of time in the yard and garden, but no where near what I would like. I get a lot of help around the house as far as chores are concerned, so that doesn’t take a lot of time for me. I run errands frequently. But again it doesn’t consume the better part of my time. I get up each morning between 6:30 and 7:00 and I don’t go to sleep until almost midnight. Still, I never seem to have enough time. I’m forever saying to myself, “Where did the day go?” For example, it’s already 12:30 in the afternoon; I’m clueless as to where the morning went…it’s just gone. I think there may be a conspiracy. What other explanation could there be?

Well, at this point I guess I’m going to write some more. I’d also like to get some sewing done and I have a crochet project or two that I need to get busy on. On a completely different note…R got the job we had been hoping for!!!! This means that I no longer need to work, which is such a relief, of course R says that I need to write that million dollar book now…but no pressure. At the moment, despite the health issues and lack of time, things are looking up.

The Robin

I held a full grown, healthy Robin in my hands yesterday. It was rather ironic actually because a cat saved its life.

I had just gotten into the house after filling the bird feeders when I saw a cat come wondering through the back yard. It was causally walking along the sidewalk and, of course, I was panicking that it might be interested in one of the feeding birds. I opened the kitchen door and it ran off through the neighbor’s yard. I decided I should probably close the gate that I had left open earlier and so I went to the back gate and started to shut it.

Suddenly, I saw what I thought was a bird taking flight, but I realized that it never made it airborne. By the time I focused my eyes and became certain it was a bird it attempted to take flight once again. It was after this when I saw the Robin was entangled in fishing line. The line was wound around the fence and the car antenna, and continued on around the Robin’s neck and one of its feet. The poor little thing was obviously scared to death but I stood back for a moment and she quelled the fleeing instinct. She sat on the hood of the van for a moment looking at me and I very slowly brought my hand toward her. She stayed still, I was worried she would try to fly again and hurt herself, as she had about three feet of slack. She continued to sit still and I spoke a little bit to her as I came closer, trying to maintain a calming voice. She allowed me to touch her and I clasped her gently into my hand. I unwound the fishing line, stroked her head and gave her a kiss (yes, I’m sentimental) and then turned her loose. She flew up to a limb on the tree just above us and sat there watching me. I could tell she was stressed, her mouth stayed open, but all in all she appeared no worse for wear.

It was really a neat experience. Birds are so soft and, yeah, you remember the adage: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Well, now I can honestly say that it’s true. Even after seeing fifty or more crows gathered in my back yard, an awesome sight by the way, and viewing all of the other birds that come and go at the feeders; even watching the mommy and daddy birds feeding the babies, none of it compares to holding that Robin just for a few moments. There was a calmness, and a connection that took place between the two of us that no other experience can really express. I’ve held young birds before, but this was different because this bird was grown and not really hurt; it’s not like it needed to be nursed back to health. Does this make sense to anyone else? I think it was the trust that it showed, the way she just waited there for me instead of continuing to try and get away. It was like she knew I was going to help and, further, like she knew she was doing me a favor by allowing me to help her. It was cool and I feel all druidic like.

Falling Back Into Old Habits

It appears that I’m falling back into the bad habit of not writing every day. I really do try to write something on a daily basis, if not on my Blog then a poem, article, or story. Lately, though, I haven’t written anything for the last week and a half, perhaps. I don’t really know why. I’ve had all the normal things going on; busy life, back pain, other side-tracking events but I’ve also noticed a sort of apathy. Sometimes I find myself in this mood that just causes me to feel like, “blah, I don’t feel like sitting on my computer and typing today”. Have any of you experienced this?

I’m sure others go through similar types of feelings, but how do you actually get past it? Do you get past it, or do you have to wait for it to pass on its own? What’s the longest amount of time you think you have gone without writing? I’m just curious to see where I fit into the mix.

I had an article for InMichiana due today so I wrote this morning, because I had to. Then, I find that once I’m writing it’s difficult to stop. Hence the post. It’s like all of a sudden I’m jonesing to write. Is this an addiction? I feel like I was off the “stuff” for a while and once I had a small taste of it again, I needed more. Perhaps this is just my addictive personality coming through, but I’d really like to know how others feel about this subject.

Of Hermit Crabs and Decapitation

Q. What do decapitation, scary kids, hotels, non-profit organizations, hermit crabs, lustful passion, china dolls, and a river have in common?
A. Each one of those things had a role in my dream last night, or should I say early this morning.

It was really quite weird; I’m talking bizzaro land here people. Have you ever had one of those dreams where nothing really makes sense but upon waking you remember it so clearly that you could swear it was real? Then, as the day goes on you begin to analyze the various elements only to find that each one has some point of significance. Strange as it may sound I was able to place all the pieces into some portion of my actual daily life, yes, even the decapitation (I’ve been watching Buffy again). The hermit crabs were a bit of a stretch but I think I was associating them with R’s snails in his aquarium. My guess is that I was hungry because, in my dream, I was supposed to eat these things. There they were on these platters like you get from Kroger, with a nice plastic cover. At first, I thought they were snails but then when I took the lid off they all sprouted legs and began to walk away. I remember thinking, “Great, there goes dinner. Now what am I supposed to do?” My Freudian diagnosis is that I wanted to eat something but the thought of consuming snails was just too gross for my delicate brain so instead, they just got up and walked away. I did hunt them down for a while but to no avail. That’s when the hotel and non-profit took over, (they were questioning me about the decapitated body). All in all it was very strange, throughout the remainder of the dream every now and then, one or two of the hermit crabs would pop up and I would think, “Oh, there’s one I need to get it” but I never had the means of catching it. They all ended up heading back to the river, it was an odd sensation.

Should I go into the decapitation? I don’t know man, that was a bit on the scary side. I fear that if I were to tell all I may end up in the loony bin. Let’s just suffice to say that I didn’t do it; I was only a witness but the moral of the story is…never, never let children play with sharp implements while cuddling with your lover and…you cannot replace a real head with a china doll’s head and make the human body function normally. From that point on…it’s all hermit crabs man. Anyone else want a snack?