Time...What A Concept

There is so much to do and never enough time to do it all. I know people everywhere experience the same phenomena. So why did we invent the concept of time again? Someone remind me; it seems so useless.

I’ve taken a permanent leave from work, in a way. It’s a rather long story so suffice to say…Due to some health problems I’m not going into work anymore but I’m still doing a minimal amount of stuff for them at home. Now, one would think that I would have boo coo amounts of time on my hands; it couldn’t be less true. It seems that no matter how much time gets freed up not only does more time take its place, but it leaches into even more time. It’s just freaky I tell ya.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. I’ve been wanting to sew but I haven’t made time for it; although I do intend to work on some stuff this weekend. I’ve managed a bit of time in the yard and garden, but no where near what I would like. I get a lot of help around the house as far as chores are concerned, so that doesn’t take a lot of time for me. I run errands frequently. But again it doesn’t consume the better part of my time. I get up each morning between 6:30 and 7:00 and I don’t go to sleep until almost midnight. Still, I never seem to have enough time. I’m forever saying to myself, “Where did the day go?” For example, it’s already 12:30 in the afternoon; I’m clueless as to where the morning went…it’s just gone. I think there may be a conspiracy. What other explanation could there be?

Well, at this point I guess I’m going to write some more. I’d also like to get some sewing done and I have a crochet project or two that I need to get busy on. On a completely different note…R got the job we had been hoping for!!!! This means that I no longer need to work, which is such a relief, of course R says that I need to write that million dollar book now…but no pressure. At the moment, despite the health issues and lack of time, things are looking up.

Guilt

So it’s June already, freaky. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long between my posts, but hey, I suppose the calendar doesn’t lie. It’s just sort of weird though. When I was in school, the time flew by so quickly I could barely keep up with things; I was constantly on the move. Now that I’m out of school my leisure time, yes, has increased; but I still find myself running short of time to do things. It’s like I feel justified in taking time off, sitting back doing whatever I feel like doing. I’ve watched more DVDs in the last month than I watched all last year. I’m enjoying it, but I have this nagging guilt gnawing at me in the back of my head. It keeps telling me about all the things I think I should be doing like; writing, or weeding the garden, doing some landscaping around the house that I’ve put off for two years now, fixing my sewing machine so that I can make all those clothes that I have on the “to do list”, finish that damn paper. Instead, what do I do? I sit around and watch DVDs and play RPGs (I feel so productive). I guess it’s ok to relax for a while although I’m not perfectly clear on that. I can’t recall a time when I ever actually did that. I would suspect, though, that it must end sometime and I will have to return to the world of reality. Yep, I keep telling myself that, yes, yes I do. So, here I go…getting up…going to make some productive use of my time…yessirye bob…here I go….moving now…well shit, it just doesn’t seem to be working. I guess I’ll have to give it a bit more time.