Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Recovery

So, after yesterday’s post and the tragic ending of a beautiful life I feel that it’s necessary to try and balance that negative with a positive. In this day and age we have all been witness to the trails and tribulations of our modern world. We have watched innocents be slain in genocides, mass murders, and murder suicides. We have all watched as the moral decay in our society has grown disproportionately to the moral well being of humanity. The earth itself is in pain over the way we human beings have treated ourselves. The question is, why? Why do we allow ourselves to suffer so? Why have we broken our bodies and minds to the point of anxiety, suffering, loneliness, and shame that we have? We have all seen it. We all know it’s out there. Everyday we question ourselves as to, “How can someone do something like that?” or “How has humanity gotten to the point of such cruelty?” We long for heroes and to hear word of good doings. We look to the sky with hope that things will get better, and there my friend is the key. The fact that hope is still present and alive in the human animal is what allows us the opportunity to change the world one person at a time, starting with our self.

We have all heard the call down deep inside us. The desire to be the best we can be. We long to fulfill our potential, so why not start today? There’s a book out there that’s been around for a while now. You may already be one of the ragpickers who have read it, maybe you haven’t, yet. I first read the book a little over 16 years ago and it helped change my life for the better. You see 17 years ago I was one of those people drowning myself in booze and drugs, looking for a way out of the thing I feared most, humanity. It’s easy to see the world in all its awfulness and then justify to yourself why you don’t want to be a part of society. The fact of the matter, though, is that it’s nothing more than fear. Fear that you may actually live up to your potential and then be responsible for not only your life, but the lives of those you touch. It becomes easy to say that you don’t matter and that no one will notice if you’re not a part of the game, but we all know that’s a cop out. We all have that gut feeling that tells us we do matter, we want to matter. The time has come to face the fear people. The book is called “The Greatest Miracle in the World” it is written by Og Mandino and it does carry the secret to peace of mind and happiness, seriously.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a religious person. I am without doubt spiritual, I always have been. I don’t believe that you have to be either Christian or religious in any manner to read this book and arrive at the benefits from it. While the book may seem to have a religious context to it, the message is actually much deeper than any religion ever has been. The story is an instruction manual, seriously, on how to alter your subconscious thought and create a positive mind that automatically sets your soul to heal itself and the souls of others. It trains your mind to become an instrument of hope. I strongly suggest that every person read it and sincerely follow through with the 100 days. It will change your life. I read the book again last night, after 16 years and I can see how it changed mine. Funny thing as I began to read the memorandum again, tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them; something inside me knew that I have been witness to the greatest miracle in the world. Honestly.

Friday, September 11, 2009

“Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio.”

But do you ever really know someone? A very macabre topic today as I talk about the death of one of R’s co-workers. Seemingly a man that had it all together; a hard worker, nice guy, well liked, family man, had been at the company for many years, and then…

Last night I get a call from R who tells me they had just learned that this man had shot himself in the head and had died. Probably the most horrific thing about this is that he did it in front of his two children (R believes they are both in their teens). I can’t begin to imagine the horror of witnessing such an act and while my heart, and the hearts of all who knew the family, goes out to them; I can hardly think that any consolation is even the slightest bit comforting.

As near as people can figure he was under financial and marital strain but, of course, no one expected or saw any signs of this coming. I guess when something like this happens it’s never really expected, huh? I mean if it were then there would be a chance that the person could get help and maybe the end result would be a happier ending with the person surviving. It’s a very sad thing indeed but I also feel some anger here.

Not only did this man leave his children with a memory that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, he also left them with no means of financial help. He had paid into his life insurance and pension for all those years and now, his children are left without anything because of the suicide. I realize that this man must have been in immense pain to do what he did, but it was a selfish act indeed. It makes me think of others who have taken their own lives and/or the lives of others, and what it boils down to is selfishness. Sorry if I sound crass here but what right do these people have to destroy the lives of those they leave behind. I mean, it’s bad enough that they have taken their light, or someone else’s light from the world but it’s just down right selfish that they have also drawn the light from the people left behind who loved them.

I’ve suffered loss in my life, both of my parents passed on before I was an adult. Theirs’ was a natural death and that hurt plenty, I can assure you. But to witness the taking of a life of someone as close and dear to you as a parent…leaves me in the dark. It’s impossible to make any sense out of a senseless act and yet we try. The best I can come up with is selfishness. The person, this man, didn’t want to deal with his difficult life anymore so he opted out leaving his children to bear the burden alone and then adding to their pain on top of it. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m sorry for the topic of this post but I needed to vent. Send thoughts, prayers, healing energy to the family, sure. What else is there to do?