Monday, November 10, 2008

OMFG-She Didn’t!

Oh what a night was the Vampire game…a memorable eve in vampire history. The title to this post is the title given to a video clip that was recorded during a social coterie at the Elysium. A coterie is a gathering a vampires for various purposes. A social coterie is just that, vampires get together to socialize. There are many different types of coteries like diplomatic and wartime coteries, each sounding pretty much like what their purpose is. An Elysium is a place where vampires gather and all agree to (basically) behave themselves. In other words, no weapons, no fighting, no clan wars, blah blah blah…get the idea?

K, so back at the coterie a Malkavian, unbeknownst to anyone other than the other Malkavians decided to have some fun. You see, the Malkavians are the crazy vampires, and I do mean crazy as in nuts, out to lunch, the lights are on but nobody is home, crazy. So, Harmony (the Malkavian) decides to round up about 10-20 cats, yes cats, and because it makes her feel at home (she used to do this same thing at the mental hospital she is no longer in) she attached some flashlights to them and released them inside the Elysium. So there we are with cats everywhere and all these vampires going, “What the F***? Where did all these cats come from?” Now, I know what you’re thinking, you’re wondering, “What’s the big?” Right? So what, a bunch of cats.

Well, you see it just so happened that my character was at the coterie. “So what?” you ask. When I created my character I took a flaw. Flaws allow you to gain benefits in other areas so many people take them when they make up their characters. The flaw I took was a “Phobia”. Have you figured it out yet? Yes, my phobia is cats. I freak whenever they’re around me. Now, while I managed to make two rolls that kept me from going into an all out frenzy; I botched a third one.

Frenzies are bad, think 11th century warrior dropped into the 21st century on crack. When a vampire goes into frenzy they’re virtually unstoppable and anything can happen. My frenzy ended after I jumped threw the air trying to avoid the cats, tackled three Nosferatu body guards and then landed directly on the Prince. Oh, it gets better. Not only did I land on the Prince of the city I knocked him off of his throne and rolled with him down the flight of stairs behind him to the landing below where I ended up face to face on top of him. Yikes! As if that wasn’t bad enough.

The evening continued…several vamps got it on tape, so to speak. They filmed the entire thing with their cell phones and then released it out to the ENTIRE vampire community within the city, attaching theme music to it like “Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting” and titled it, yep…OMFG She Didn’t! This was fuel for the fire no doubt. The Prince could have had me killed right then and there, fortune was on my side thankfully, as I and the Prince are in the same clan. We’re Ventrue and fortunately the Prince sort of likes me so he only ordered me to go home and not show my face for a while, quite a while.

Now, while the video was making its rounds, Harmony (she is so dead) crazy Malkavian decided to send a present to the Prince to make him feel better. She boxed up a Persian and sent it to the Prince. When he opened the package the cat went nuts, windows were broken, the Prince’s head was latched onto and…it was all captured by Harmony’s good Malkavian friend, on video.

So, at the moment the Prince and I are the laughing stock of the city. He’s pretty pissed off and I’m trying to do some serious damage control before my career and afterlife are wiped from existence. Damn vampires….Through my investigation (I’m a lawyer) I was able to figure out that the Brujahs were responsible for the first video being made and released. I have decided on some serious just revenge, and…I was also able to piece together who was responsible for the cats because I was there at the asylum when Harmony became involved with our city’s vampire population and kitty’s with flashlights were running a muck. Anyway, revenge is in the works. We’ll see how things play out and I’ll try to keep you updated on the more fun/interesting stuff.

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